I’ve just read The Secret (a pirated copy, by the way. You know why? Because pre-Secret, I couldn’t afford to buy the book. Now, I can afford anything I want. You know what else? I’m a writer. I want people to buy my books. I’m not going to pirate anything else anymore. It seems unjust to the post-Secret me. I am just.)

I understand so much now. In retrospect, so many things make sense. Thank God, thank God, thank God for that brave little voice inside my head that saw me through my darkest days. Thank God for giving me the inner wisdom to listen to the little voice inside my head. What a beautiful Earth, what a wonderful Universe, what a bright spot I am.

I used to have images of myself – quick, hyper-realistic flashes – sitting in a pretty, organized, clean, white home office. I’m always sitting at a desk, closing my laptop (which I envisioned years before the arrival of laptops as a tidy, tight, paper-sized, hard-shelled parcel – it makes sense now), smiling because I see my children playing happily in a lush, green side yard. Long before reading The Secret, I knew that was me. I knew that I would be here. So many other things I have known have long since been buried under a cloud of self-doubt and negativity. No longer. I am so happy being more space than solid. I am teaching my girls and my dog to be open to the positive, creative energy all around us; that is us.

I have my moments, but my light (my truth) is so much stronger and infinitely more lovely than artifacts of past darkness that pop up now and then. Also, now, after reading The Secret, I have practical tools that I can use to immediately banish negative thoughts before they take root.

I want to tell you a few things:

1. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR LIGHTING MY WAY.

2. I am still reading The Secret. It’s so mind-bending for me that I am slowly going through it, absorbing, re-reading, and letting it sink in.

This week, I decided to call money to myself. I tried visualizing big numbers and I wasn’t ready to fully absorb that. So, I started with a number that felt believable yet presently impossible to me. I said to myself, “I will get a cheque for $500.00 this week.” I kept saying it, smiling, thinking it with a breath of relief (a feeling of releasing stress because money and good fortune are in the mail). I envisioned it in my mailbox. I read, in my mind, Lamare Robinson, and felt the thrill I would get from a book advance or a completed graphic design project. Understand, I declared this to myself on Wednesday afternoon. Also, I am not working currently. I have absolutely no source of quick income at the moment. I have an e-bay shop that I have let lie fallow for the past few months. I have just completed a four-month contract as a graphic designer and I thought I was all paid up. I was sure that my former employer had sent me all the money I was owed.

Still, with no prospects for getting $500.00 in the next two days, I declared it. “I’m getting a cheque for $500.00 in the mail this week.” I felt it, in my marrow I felt it, and it filled me with joy. I believed it. I believed, believed, believed. For a moment, I thought, “There are only two more days this week. Maybe…” Then I immediately shook it off, saying to myself, “That’s a how. How is not my issue. I’m in the business of what. The Universe is in the business of how. I believe. It’s coming. My money is on the way.”

Finally, I let it go. Please understand how momentous that act was for me. I – the previously ever-fearful, self-doubter, nail-biter, second-guesser, abyss-dweller – let it go. No checking my e-bay auctions every hour, no surfing Workopolis, no cursing my fate, no doubt, no fear, no worry. I asked, I believed. To show my belief, I shut down doubt immediately. I held fast to my joy and gratitude, and put my trust in the Universe. I, Lamare Robinson, let it go. Immediate Freedom.

Da-ta-ta-da!!! Today is Friday. This morning, I was playing with my dog in the yard. I had totally forgotten about my declaration; I just went on with my life. My husband was at work and my girls were in school. My father-in-law drove up the driveway with our mail, as he does once in a while. There was an envelope for me. I knew. My heart smiled.

When my father-in-law left, I went through the mail. Among the mail was a cheque from my former employer in the amount of $359.83. I raised my arms and said – over and over – Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Then I sang a thank you song. What joyful noise came out of me; it didn’t even really sound like me for a minute.

It works. I knew it would work. I know it will work for anything. I think I’ve known this for most of my life. Somewhere, deep inside me, I had this information. Thank you ever so much for letting The Secret out. It has transformed me into the woman I’ve always known I could be virtually overnight.

Thank You.

Namaste,
Lamare Robinson

P.S. There’s one other thing. I am studying to pass my Canadian Federal Government Second Language Evaluation. I have already passed two out of three of the exams. I know I will pass the next one. Most people say when you start dreaming in your second language, you’re becoming bilingual. You know what I did this morning? While walking my dog, I said my usual prayer, “Lord Ganesh, remover of obstacles, remove the obstacles before us,” this way: “Lord Ganesh, qui enleve les obstacles, je vous en prie, enlevez les obstacles devant nous.” It’s not perfect, but it’s French. Without thinking, without working, without wondering, I prayed in French. Everything I want comes so easily now. I’m on my way.

Peace.