The One That Almost Got Away.
After reading dozens upon dozens of stories on here, I finally get to write my own! I am blessed and thankful for the invaluable knowledge and resources shared by Rhonda. I want to say to everyone who might stumble across this that no matter how bad things look, there is always hope!
I had remained vaguely aware of the LOA but I didn’t really put it into practice; ego or worry would often creep into my consciousness and so even though I could ‘talk the talk’ I wasn’t ‘walking the walk’ because the skeptical side of me would always overthink things in order to control the outcome.
Two years ago, my best friend and I, who I had met 8 years ago as of the time of this writing, became so close that one night we let our passion take over and rocketed out of the ‘FriendZone’. Very early we knew how much we loved each other, but in our hot and heavy race to get married we rushed the relationship a little too fast because we assumed we did all the heavy lifting during our friendship. We both switched our lives around and put a lot of unnecessary strain on the relationship by being too fixated on the future. I started to fall into some old habits that ruined my previous long-term relationship.
Given the fact that I already loved this woman as a friend, nowhere in my mind could I imagine a day without her, especially now that we were seeing each other as a couple. Blinded by my own goals, I neglected myself and her by getting fixated on emotional security, and after we had a big fight in which she decided not to move out of state with me, she told me that she no longer loved me and just wanted a break.
I was heartbroken at first, having been through a bad breakup before, and now the woman I loved more than anyone, had from my perspective, out of the blue, decided that she didn’t want me or us anymore. I was not even sure if she wanted to be in my life at all, even as a friend. The last time this happened to me I had smothered my ex, begged, pleaded, and tried to guilt her into getting back with me but in the end, we never spoke again. This time I decided to do things differently and I let her have her space to think, which she said she needed and wanted.
As crazy as my thoughts were, and as tempting as it was to jump on her case, I let her be and decided to focus on myself. I started reading up on The Secret and I started to imagine what I wanted rather than the worst-case scenario. It was difficult but I would meditate to calm myself and I focused on being the best version of me, the person that she fell in love with. I did this without the expectation of getting her back. During this time I reflected on myself and what I was doing to sabotage myself. I was prepared to wait for weeks or even months for any kind of result, if at all.
Then she told me a week ahead of when she said she would get back to me, that she wanted to go back to being friends if I was willing. I wasn’t satisfied with that but by staying in the moment I was able to think of a suggestion that we go back to the way things were in the beginning; no pressure on either of us to move in together, just enjoying each other’s presence whenever we got to see each other. Resigned to losing her forever, she surprisingly agreed to that but with the caveat that she still did not love me anymore and wanted to do her own thing.
I still loved her, but I let it go and I didn’t try to force her to love me. I just kept doing my thing, focusing on feelings of gratitude and what it felt like to be with her. I visualized scenarios in which she would fall back in love with me.
We would continue to talk and text, keeping things casual, and I relinquished all expectations, prepared for her to change her mind, and go our separate ways but instead, the opposite happened. Just like I had hoped and visualized, she started to feel something for me again. I noticed she started calling me “baby” again, until one day after a long video chat, she texted me saying that she was falling in love with me! I was so elated, surprised, and perplexed that it didn’t hit me until the next day that the Universe had brought the love of my life back.
Now without me having to contact her first, she will randomly text and talk to me, and talks about future plans to visit me and shows me so much affection.
No matter how bad it looks, you can always win your love back with the right motivation, focus, gratitude, and energy. Given my past, this was a personal miracle for me.
I was prepared to lose her, but now it looks like we are rekindling our friendship and relationship in one fell swoop! It is much faster than I ever could have hoped for. So far, so good, only this time I won’t forget gratitude and I won’t forget The Secret!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!