My husband and I had started trying for a baby as soon as we got married in 2004, but a year later we were having no luck. I wasn’t too surprised, as I had barely had a period since my brother’s sudden death in 03.

So in July 2005 our GP referred us to a fertility consultant, and I thought that would be it – we would be pregnant in no time as she was one of the best in the country.

When we finally saw her and I had loads of tests, they concluded I had unexplained infertility due to having inactive ovaries, ie. I wasn’t ovulating, probably from the shock of my brother’s death.

They told me the first thing they would try was clomophine to make me ovulate regularly, but that the odds weren’t great and I only had 6 months to conceive, as that’s all they let you have at a time. Other statistics also told me if you didn’t conceive by the 2nd cycle you probably wouldn’t.

I ended up taking this drug and constantly counting down when I had to be pregnant by, even telling my husband that if I wasn’t expecting at the end of the 2nd cycle we should just expect it not to happen at all. I was sending out mixed messages and wasn’t being clear, because I also kept saying I had to be pregnant by the end of the 2nd cycle, and that part worked – I got pregnant at that point. But I wasn’t positive, I kept telling myself it was too good to be true, too easy, and constantly reminded myself not to get my hopes up as my sister miscarried her first. And you know what I brought into my life with my thoughts… yes, I lost our baby at 9 weeks. Though devastated, I refocused and thought only positive thoughts.

I went to bed every night telling myself I would be pregnant. If people spoke of events 9 months or more down the line, I’d say, “We will have the baby by then.”

Again I fell pregnant on the 2nd cycle of clomophine. Even though blood results told me I wasn’t ovulating on that cycle of the drug, I told my body it was, and this time planned for my daughter’s arrival. Even though I had bleeding throughout and other problems, I kept saying, my baby will be ok, she’s coming home with me, I will not lose her.

And 2 weeks early my husband and I brought home our beautiful 9lbs baby girl, and every minute of every day I give thanks for her, and every time I look at her I see the power of thinking and believing something into being.