Doubt is powerful but belief is stronger
I have always considered myself to be a very spiritual person and as such have always believed in controlling my own destiny.
Some time ago, last year in fact, I stumbled across a book about “Cosmic Ordering”. I was totally blown away by the contents and once the sequel came out I bought that too. But somehow the effect the 1st book had on my life did not manifest with the second. I put both books down and occasionally played the audio CD at nights when I was too tired to really allow it to digest in my mind, or I was so exhausted the hypnosis section just sent me fast asleep! Bear in mind that it does say not to use the Audio if you are feeling tired or sleepy! Needless to say that the enthusiasm of the 1st book had almost completely worn off on the 2nd and so my desires did not manifest. Much of what I asked for after reading the 1st book did manifest itself I saw results but somehow I just lost faith in it. I became consumed by doubt and also allowed other people to poke fun out of the whole thing. I believed without a shadow of doubt that I could have what I wanted in my life after reading the 1st book, that is why things happened!
A couple of weeks back I went out for a catch-up coffee with a friend and because she has been temporarily incapacitated for a while (she had a c-section and has been unable to drive etc) she suggested we go to a small café close to her house to get some air. While we chatted away our conversation was overheard by a lady who sat in the corner. The lady approached me and politely asked if I was discussing a person close to me (my partner is just recovering from cancer and has been through 9 weeks of intense chemotherapy and 3 weeks prior to that a very painful operation to remove the tumour so I was telling my friend how things were going). I told her yes. She was clutching a copy of The Secret in her hand. She told me to tell my partner to be positive and not to think I have beaten cancer but it may come back, but instead to say, I am cured and it is never coming back. This is not an uncommon thought in any of us I suspect, but what is interesting is that I had completely lost all faith in what I have always believed in – we all create our own destiny. I had been thinking about how I can regain my faith in my ability to have what my heart desires, and then there in front of me this lady has a solution The Secret.
I do not have a problem knowing what it is I want to achieve in my life and I am able to believe in what I want, my problem is that I allow the devil of doubt to steal my dreams so I cannot manifest them. I am learning, with The Secret, to bring about what I want. I am reading the book for a 2nd time, I know that things will start to happen the moment I take the brakes off and believe in what I want. Today I am learning to love me, as I understand one thing loud and clear – the frequency love is on, is where all the things I want is also on too. I have spent too long waiting for someone to love me how I want to be loved when I dont actually love myself the way I want to be loved!
There is one very significant point to this. My partner who is recovering from treatment has said to me (prior to diagnosis of cancer) he always believed that he would lie on his deathbed apologising to me for the way he has treated me, and that he always knew he would contract some potentially incurable disease. We have been on/off for a number of years and he hasnt treated me that great to say the very least. I am starting to understand how powerful our thoughts can be! Although he was never close to dying (the cancer he had is 98% curable), there were some very scary times through treatment when he lost a couple of days because he was too ill to even stay conscious, and even a time when he had unexpected excruciating pain that even the doctors could not explain and that only morphine could make subside.
It begs the question doesnt it!
My life thus far has been very complicated and stressful with my partner; I am beginning to see that what I want is within me and not anyone else. And today is the beginning of the rest of my life. Today I realised fully and completely that the only reason why things go wrong or how I dont want them to be is because of my own self doubt.
Today I can apply what I know and forget what was .