The Year In Hell.
I finally found him, the man of my life. I had been alone for five years after my husband chose to leave me for another woman, so I was very happy when I found Pete. He was the one that made me happy.
But he said one thing before we got together, he said: “Silje, I might die” and I said that we all might die and I really didn’t catch on to what he meant. I was just happy we found each other.
Being together was a bit tricky as he lived in England and I live in Norway, so I traveled back and forth. He didn’t have a passport.
We decided to get engaged, and I was very happy. We planned to make our base camp on The Isle Of Wight at an open an art center there. We both have cultural and musical backgrounds.
He told me that he had had some alcohol issues, but that they were in the past. So when, on the 5th of December ended up in hospital in an induced coma because his insides were bleeding, I got the shock of my life. He had tried to quit, cold turkey, and was still an alcoholic.
I sat by his bed for days, I missed my son’s 9th birthday back in Norway and I was worried about the future we had planned. But Pete woke up and it looked as if he would get better.
Only he didn’t. On the 20th of December, the day I went back to Norway, he was taken to hospital and later that day, he died with my voice on the phone.
I can’t tell you today how I got through the horrible months but I did.
And here’s the Hollywood twist. My friend, Trevor lost his girlfriend the 25th of December, so we talked a lot about life, about death. But I had lost my future, I was going to get married, I was finally home, and then I had no one.
So one night, one desperate night in late February. I sat down and talked to the universe, or to Pete, or to God, or all. And I said: Please, I can’t do this life alone. Please find someone I can share it with. Either come back, or send me someone you want me to have. I can’t do this life alone.
I don’t think I have ever meant anything as strongly, because three days later I understood that Trevor wanted to be more than my friend. And and suddenly we took a leap of faith together.
And now he’s not only the love of my life, but the love of my soul. And I have no doubt that Pete, working with the universe, made this happen. I have, like I said, never felt any prayer stronger.
I am currently reading The Magic, to prepare myself for the month ahead. There are a lot of bad memories, but I have the greatest support in the world. Yes, we both have bad days, but we have them together, as a team.
I will always love Pete. And I will always love Trevor.