The Power We Have.
First, thank you so much for writing The Secret! I just recently read it and I think I always knew The Secret. Sometimes I would call it faith but after reading this book it is so much more clear to me now.
The first thing that came to mind after reading The Secret was how true it was that I have the life that I created. When I was a little girl, 7 years old, we weren’t wealthy. My dad worked really hard for the things we had. My dad would take me to school in the morning and in the car, he was always talking to me about the importance of school and work. He would say, “What you want; the big house, the cleaning lady, the car, the trips, the clothes, they do not come if you don’t work for them. You need to study and work hard.” I was a terrible student. I don’t know why, but my answer was “Dad, I am going to have everything, I am going to be OK.” He used to get so mad at me and it was a constant battle. I did not know why or how but I always knew I would have hardships in different ways but money wasn’t one of them. I was going to be fine.
Later on, I studied psychology and the only time I worked in my life was during college doing clinical practice. I did this at a school for autistic kids. I didn’t choose it because I cared a lot, it was just the easiest thing to do because it was close to my house. For the longest time while I worked there, I used to imagine how it would feel to have an autistic kid. The feeling wasn’t bad because I was better prepared than most people to do it. This was not something I wanted or understood but somehow that visualization happened in my mind, more than I cared to realize.
Years later while living in London, I had my first kid. I knew at 10 months old that he wasn’t OK. No one believed me and he was not diagnosed until he was 2 but I knew in my heart he was autistic.
It was the worst time in my life. I was so angry at the world, so angry at God, and at life. I went into a big spiral of depression and imagined my life having a completely disfuncional kid always with me. It certainly wasn’t the life I wanted for me and more importantly, for my kid. I couldn’t understand why he was paying for my shallowness and my mistakes and it wasn’t fair to him. I always wanted a cute kid and here I had the most handsome, perfect, blue-eyed kid ever but he was autistic. Now I wondered if I manifested both. Anyway, my sadness, anger, and guilt didn’t let me live.
One day I finally crumbled and cried in total despair to my dad on the phone. He yelled at me and got very angry. He said, “Maria you have always had what you needed to overcome this and help your kid.” That day I snapped out of my depression and went into action. I started looking for help for him. Among my wishes was to move to New York because I believed that was the best place to get help for him. We were very happy in London but out of nowhere, my husband called one day and told me to sit down. He didn’t know that I wanted to move, I never spoke to him about it. It was a stage in our marriage where we weren’t talking much. He then told me that we were moving to New York!
We have been living in New York for 11 years now. My son went to the schools I wanted and he has made tremendous progress. From that image of me walking around with him totally disabled, my dad changed my mind into believing I was the one who could help him, and it happened! I remember talking about me manifesting living in New York but I called it faith. I believed with all my heart that we would live there and my son would be OK. And it happened!
So today we are fine! He is fine, my husband and I are fine, and I have a very pretty, perfect girl. I now think that New York gave us everything it could give us and it is time to go.
I have always imagined myself living in London. I believe that this is the best place for my son now, and my daughter will attend Oxford. This is what I have now ‘asked’ for. Now I will let it go and I will receive it.