Sometimes The Path Will Find You!
I am a 35 year old Accountant in the UK. I have been working with numbers all of my adult life and I stuck with it, not because I enjoyed it, but because it was simple and the pay was OK.
Last year my work and how invested in ‘the rat race’ led to me having a nervous breakdown and resulted in a long bout of depression. I was away sick from work for over 3 months and the storm cloud that had appeared over me got bigger and darker. Basically I got lost in it and no amount of medication was helping me find myself again. The bubbly laughing girl I had always been got stripped away until all that was left were my insecurities and my anger at what the world had ‘done to me’. It was actually my doctor who suggested meditation to assist with my recovery.
I turned to YouTube to find music to meditate to or guided meditation to listen to and teach me how. Well you all know how YouTube works, you watch something and it suggests other videos to watch. I kept getting suggestions about something called The Law of Attraction and like so many before me, I scoffed and ignored it. Pfft, spirituality! Yeah. Right!
To cut a long story short, I was still feeling low the majority of the time and searching YouTube every day for an answer. A few weeks ago I came across an interview with Oprah speaking to Jim Carrey and I thought, well, I have to watch that because I love Jim Carrey. I watched it 7 times in a row and every word he said about visualizing how he wanted his life to be resonated deeply with me. He was telling my story! As I watched and listened to this very talented , very successful man talk about his experience with depression and how he had lost sight of how lucky he was and forgotten the necessity of gratitude, I started to cry. I had been such a fool.
I had lost sight of the things that really matter to such an extent that it had manifested itself into ill health. The universe was warning me that I was out of balance and I hadn’t been listening.
From that moment I started searching for the law of attraction and I came across The Secret. Really it had found me a long time ago but I had not been ready to receive the message.
Well it only took one viewing of The Secret and the flood gates opened on my being ready to receive! I had finally found what I had never been looking for but really should have been. Realizing that I was the master of my life, my destiny and my universe was a huge revelation! How had I never thought to simply ask for what I wanted?
I have started slowly, making a vision board on Pinterest that I can look at daily and writing affirmations on little squares of note paper that I can carry with me everywhere. This week I created a grateful moments list that I can add to whenever I feel it so I can look back on all my blessings whenever I need a reminder of why life is so great.
The reason that life is so great is because I truly believe it should be in a way I never had before. I wasted so much time complaining that my life wasn’t great and drawing to me more bad things to stop my life being great.
In the last few weeks I have begun to sleep better, feel more healthy, taken time to enjoy the things in my life that are really important like my family and friends, good books and beautiful music. I can’t remember when I have smiled so much and I am more grateful than I can say.
From now on it will be meditation, not medication for me, and this is my perfect day.