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Self Discovery and Recovery
Submitted by: Danielle
South AfricaTwenty year old college student.
To start off, I have been reading the stories on this website for quite some time and they have done more than inspire me. They have filled me with hope and joy! So I decided that it was about time that I shared my story in hope that it will give others something special as well.
Four years ago I developed a serious case of bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa. Since I was a young girl I wasnt happy with my body and I had some serious self-esteem problems and issues with never being good enough. I never felt like I belonged, I felt different, and I never really knew who I was. So one day I focused on losing weight, and I did lose weight and became morbidly obsessed with it.
For three years it was all I focused on and I thought my disorders were all I had. I felt losing weight was the only thing that I could control, and it really did become all about control. Needless to say, I was terribly miserable.
Two years ago things only got worse; I became heavily depressed at one stage and started having intense mood swings. I would be bouncing on clouds one day and the next I would be contemplating suicide! All these issues started ruling my life.
I had read The Secret before and it helped me, but its as if I just stopped putting it into practice and things started going terribly wrong and everything just snowballed from there onwards.
Then last year, I focused on it again and focused on myself and really took myself seriously and looked inside myself for possibly the first time in my whole life. I realised I had to take stock and start putting myself first and most importantly loving myself. So I made an appointment with a psychologist and psychiatrist. Turns out along with the eating disorders, I had bipolar disorder as well as anxiety and OCD. It was a really tough time in my life and I had to deal with so much pain to get well, and recovery from the eating disorders was a really rocky experience and the most difficult one yet; I was in hospital four times, on so much medication that I formed my very own drug cocktail. There was even play with self mutilation and suicide at one stage. My future was looking bleak, but with the help of The Secret I found the courage to face my demons and deal with life itself head on.
I know I attracted all my wonderful doctors with The Secret, who helped me so much and I am so thankful for them every single day. The Secret taught me so much that I never once stopped believing in myself. I never stopped trying. The days where life was too tough to bare, I just kept The Secret in mind and I would just sit and stare into thin air and dream and visualise. I visualised myself being healthy and happy. And surprise: that is exactly what happened! With the help of my doctors and a wonderful support system of family and friends, I got through it all. The Secret literally saved my life and I am so grateful for it each day!
I am now no longer on any form of medication. My bipolar is under control and I made a successful recovery from both my eating disorders. For the first time ever I am actually happy with my weight and I love myself dearly and I believe in myself. I finally found myself and found my place in this life.
I am happy and healthy and this is all thanks to The Secret.