Sad But True And Then Happy.
I am a survivor of many things, cancer, physical, verbal and sexual abuse, rape, and neglect. So with all of those things under my belt, I was pretty mad about the life I was dealt. I was also mad at everyone and everything that surrounded me. It was their fault for my horrible life. I turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with things inside of my head and I had tried to kill myself when I was only 10 years old. I also thought about dying and committing suicide for most of my life.
Death was always the one thing I wanted and then I was diagnosed with Leukemia. With less than a 20% chance of survival, I beat it. I couldn’t understand why I fought so hard to be alive when all I ever wanted to do was die. I found so many reasons to live and I did. I beat cancer because I was too young to die. I beat cancer because I had everything I had always wanted, a new home, a new car and I had been planning a wedding. Life had just started to get good and then it wasn’t so I fought for it.
My husband left me two years after my diagnosis and I spiraled out of control with my drinking and drug use. I needed someone to help push me in the right direction. I landed in New Hampshire because of my sister. She was worried about me and wanted me close to her. She felt that if I was with her everything would be alright. Upon moving here I was still partying and met the same kind of people I had just left. We attracted like minded people and I did just that for the first three months I lived here. Although I did quit drinking and doing drugs, I was still so lost and unhappy. I was in search of how to fix my life. And then it happened.
My sister was watching Oprah and her show was about “The Secret” and the law of attraction. My sister taped it for me and then bought me the book. I carried that book with me for years. Since I am stubborn and had a little voice that lived inside of me that told me how horrible I was, it took me a lot longer to finally appreciate what I had to offer this world and the people in it.
Since this new way of thinking has come into my life I have truly embraced it. I have seen and made amazing changes. I now love my job, I have a wonderful man to share my life with and an amazing support system that I never thought I would ever have. I never knew that being grateful for each and every thing that comes my way would allow such amazingness to happen to me. Little old me who thought it would be better if I was six feet under. The words on those pages opened up a whole new world for me.
On page 153, The Secret of the world summaries are just wonderful. It reminds me every day to stop resisting and only focus on good thoughts. This is the way to get what you want. It has been a true transformation for me. I am able to communicate effectively, not just build but nurture relationships and reach goals that I never thought I would ever reach. Goals like pursuing my Bachelors degree, becoming a licensed esthetician, working as a professional makeup artist, living in my own home, having successful and healthy relationships and to finally, to start loving the person I am and have become.
I am the only person who can decide to change me and I made a vow to myself that I will be the best person I can be. The world is at my feet and I can’t wait to see where my new journey takes me. I invite anyone ready for a beautiful life to come with me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!