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Rebuilding My Life.
Submitted by: Tracey R.
FloridaI’m married with 2 grown children and a full time job with full time college so I can complete my MBA. My goal is to find my dream job of helping veterans and those with mental health issues once I can afford to retire from banking. I have 3 dogs; Oliver is 10 and a blind diabetic, Fauna is 7 and bossy and thinks she runs the house and Kahlua is my mini best friend who also thinks he runs the house. I love my life but hate my job.
Rebuilding my life was not easy after Robbie died and I had both of the girls on my own with a bunch of bills and no one to help me without a second paycheck. But even more than that was that I did not have my husband or Hailee’s daddy to be here for her or to help me raise her anymore. Robbie died unexpectedly when he committed suicide due to over-medicating himself on depression meds. The shock of his death was overwhelming with all that I had to handle but thankfully, my family stepped in and helped me start rebuilding my life with the girls.
Almost 2 years after his death, I met Jason who was kind, loving, and wanted to be friends from the start which is truly what I needed. After 6 months of dating, he asked me to marry him and a few days later we got married. It has been almost 15 years since we got married. To say he helped rebuild my spirit and soul is an understatement but that is truly what he did.
Robbie had a lot of issues and he truly broke me as a person because of his own issues but I know in my heart he could not help his actions most of the time due to his mental health issues. So I have forgiven him for what he did and learned to love without conditions. I am truly starting to love myself again after all these years.
So for more about myself, I have been struggling with a lot of things lately and I just can’t seem to get out of the rut that I am in when it comes to work. I believe I am too focused on trying to get away from this team and my boss, and this is bringing it to my door. I think that I need to learn to focus on what I want instead of what I do not want as The Secret movie suggests. I find myself thinking that this is so true. If I am going to receive food then I have to be ready for that but I also have to ask for what I really want and believe that I will get what I want because I have asked for it. I also need to be focused on getting the things that I need to make me laugh and be happy and healthy again.
I am watching The Secret movie so that I can learn how to manifest the things in my life that are good and healthy instead of focusing on what else can go wrong or why it is going to go wrong. My goal for this year is to become more positive and to always look at the good I have instead of being focused on the bad I might also have. If I keep focusing on the bad then it manifests bad things to happen instead of manifesting good things in my life. Life is not always fun and happy but it is really up to me to make it much more happy and fun by being more present in the moment and not dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what could have been’, or wishing I had made different choices. Thank you, thank you, thank you!