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Raised By People Who Had No Clue.
Submitted by: Brenda (Badow)
Buckhannon wv USAI am a work in progress but I’m getting better and better every second.
I was raised by people, who were raised by people who had no clue how to raise people. I do not ever remember being told how wonderful I was. Or how smart I was because they thought it would make me conceited. I was often told that I was dumb and fat though. Also, I was not a boy. Boys were always better than girls. I was so extremely shy that I could not look anyone in the eye. I couldn’t talk to anybody. I sat in the back of the class because I was terrified that the teacher would call on me to answer a question that I was “too dumb to answer’. I was even told that I was the ugliest baby they ever saw. I really believed that I was nothing. I did not feel that I deserved to be treated well. If someone was mean to me then I just thought that I did not deserve any better than that.
One day I decided that they were wrong. That I was smart and beautiful. And the most profound thing was, why was I shy? No one was better than me. Being shy was so wrong in so many ways. At that moment I decided to apply for a nursing class. And they called me! They had me come in to take the test. I was expecting to get into the class!?
Even though I had these life changing thoughts and experiences I still kept hearing them inside my head repeating those terrible things over and over again. So this was my life for a long time. I am now 63 years old. A couple of years ago my life exploded. My world was demolished. I was very close to suicide. I do not believe in suicide, so it was that bad. Everything I cherished was gone and I had no idea how or even if I could get them back. I prayed for someone anyone to help me. I begged.
I don’t even know how it happened but somehow I listened to a talk ‘thingy’ on YouTube. I had never listened to that kind of thing before. I still don’t remember how it happened. I listened to Wayne Dyer and my life changed. I started changing how I was thinking. I worked very hard every day and night to change my mindset. I was terrified to think a bad thought. And then one day things just fell into place. Kinda magically. I have had the best year of my life this year and I can’t wait for what is coming next year!
I found out that Mr. Dyer had left this earth before I even knew about him and I still have many more questions. So I prayed again for a mentor. Then one day I found The Secret. I listened to the books. While listening to the last one, I had the most profound moment of my life. I was supposed to thank myself and tell myself what I have always needed to hear. It was so intense and powerful that I believe God was right there with or within me. It was so powerful that it kind of even scared me.
I continued to pray for a mentor to help answer my questions. Well, I want you to know that I was listening to Rhonda’s talks about The Secret and she answered my specific questions just like I asked them. She did those shows a couple of years ago before I even asked for them. I know she was the answer to many of my questions and I want to say thank you.
I now have a need to help others. I live in an area hit hard by the opioid epidemic. We have had many family members and friends die of overdose. I believe that if they could have done what I had done they would still be here and happy. I have a vision of a place where people can come and learn how to be “free”, as you say. I see a sanctuary where all can come. A place where there is no shame and no judgment. I see a calm place of healing. A place where they have only healing to think about. A place free of worries. A place where the staff is educated in the kind of teaching taught in The Secret. I call it ‘The Vision.’ I think about it every day and night and somehow, I thought Rhonda would want to hear about it.