This year I lost my job and a huge career plan due to my boss having developed feelings for me and wanting more than a professional relationship with me. He suggested that a sexual fling or relationship would help me achieve my goals. He knew that I loved my job, I had so much energy and happiness in my role but I wasn’t prepared to give my body to someone for the sake of money and a career.

I have always had a mother who is very dependant on me and always relied on me for attention and love. This can feel like a huge burden although I love her deeply, I often feel like her mother. I have had a very difficult upbringing and witnessed domestic violence at home. I have been heartbroken, hit and cheated on by my ex boyfriend, bullied at school for many years and had been dealing with anxiety and body dysmorphia for a lot of my life. So losing my job meant I lost my dream and the chance that I thought I had to change my life and finally be happy.

I have suffered panic attacks, depression and huge stress. I have had very negative thoughts, even suicidal ones. I self harmed and trusted no one and felt that everything was too much to deal with. I wanted to give up. I just couldn’t face the world anymore.

What pushed me through life was The Secret, The Magic and The Power. I know that with my intense energy to succeed in life and energy to do so, I will achieve what I want to. My panic attacks have decreased massively and that’s because of my mental attitude. That’s because I indulge myself in the beauty of life. You can achieve anything you want to by holding good thoughts in your mind and never letting obstacles bring you down. I have had many, far more than I can write, but I will never stop. Appreciate everything you have, the phone call from your mum, dad or partner, the water you are drinking. This is what I’m doing and this is why I am not on antidepressants. I believe in myself and appreciate my blessings. I am motivated, determined and happy. I don’t have much, but I have enough and I will keep striving till I achieve my goals.

Believe in yourself, even if nobody else does. I’ve done it and we can all do it. La vita e bella. Life is beautiful. I even have it tattooed on me.