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My Secret Mantra.
Submitted by: Luckycharm
ShanghaiI am an Indian woman, living and working on my PhD in Shanghai, China.
The Secret has been always my ‘goto’ book, whenever I am in doubt. It has been given me the energy to focus on good things and taught me to surrender my worries and things that I can’t control, to the Universe. I am grateful for my friend who introduced me to this book some years ago when I was in need of it to the most. I was a person who had negative feelings and depression. Sometime I would not even have reasons to explain my sadness, I just was not able to believe that good things could happen to me. However, the book changed my belief pattern. The key I realized, was being grateful for whatever I had. I remember this was also the teachings of my mother, who did not actually know The Secret.
Since the change of my belief system, great things were happening for me. For example, I was able to get the funding for a Ph.D. I had a lot of great people to surround myself with, even the best relationship of my life. To top it all, I was even able to support my family financially and I still am.
However, at the end of last year, I had crippling anxiety. I was scared of the future. The fear of ‘what if something went wrong’ was so deep that I was not even able to get up from my bed and do the routine things for the day. I would not go out, would not meet my friends, would refuse to talk to people who cared for me. At times I would not brush my teeth or take a bath or eat anything! The only good thing I would consider during those days was my mother’s sweet smile. Just for the sake of that and to continue my financial ability to help her, I would go to my work. I have a part-time job, which is also came to me as a blessing. My Ph.D work however was suffering. I would write my papers but due to fear, I would not send them to my professor. It was a horrifying time for me. I also attracted some people who would make me feel more anxious about my work. Uhhh, I just wanted to disappear.
After some horrible months, I was talking to a friend and for the first time I was letting someone know about my anxious feelings and my deep insecurity. She suggested that I read The Secret again. I was like, wow! This was what I wanted to hear.
I read the book again and read The Power too. Along with these books, I also started reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle to stay in the present and to not to live in the past or future. I started counting my blessings and left the things I could not control, to the Universe. Every day I would remember to be grateful for what I had.
I also created a mantra for me to let things go. Every time I felt like I was getting anxious and worrying too much about the future, I would say “You did whatever you could, let leave the rest for the Universe”. Ever since then, that has been my daily Mantra. It workings like magic! I am less anxious, less worried, show up at work and I am able to communicate with my professor.
I always wanted to go to the US and be in a University there and to meet scholars from my field. And guess what?! I am going to New York next month. To my surprise, not only New York, I got accepted to attend a workshop and a Ph.D. thesis development program in other parts of the USA too, including Florida and Washington DC. To add a little more, during my period of depression I got an opportunity to visit a European University. But due to my fear of ‘what if things go wrong’, I did not have the courage to apply for the visa, even when I had gotten the invitation letter. You can understand from that example, how scary my anxiety was. But fast forward to today. My US visa process was smooth and I got a multiple entry visa for 10 years. That would have been beyond my imagination a couple of months ago.
So, here I am, sharing this story to show my gratitude to this website, to Rhonda, to The Secret team and to all the lovely people who share their stories. Your stories have helped me to get through my anxiety and depression.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!