March 2012 I made the biggest mistake of my life, I walked away and lost the love of my life, I lost my home, my work, I lost everything and ended up in the worst place in the world. For 12 months my heart continued to break piece by piece, hurting so much more with everyday and night that followed, I often found myself sitting the park next to the lake, crying at the moon with my thumb up to it, if you have seen the film Dear John you will know what I mean. I hoped my boo was also holding her thumb up to the moon so in some way we was connecting. She is the most beautiful woman in the world and I lost her. I lost my beautiful stepdaughter Charlotte, I let them both down and that really deed to the pin, now I was no cheat or violent person we let ridiculous things blur our judgment of each other and our love which was always undeniable. We were born to be together, I forgot who I was, every path I took led to my regret, it led to a lonely place. I had to win her back, I had to believe she was waiting for me and coming home to my arms.
Months passed and she met somebody else., this broke me in two. I found out he even stayed under the same roof as my beautiful Charlotte….I was physically sick. He had not earned that right!! I was broken. She went blind to how much I love her, the whole world saw it but we didn’t see it in each other anymore.
I sat and pictured my future without her, I couldn’t without breaking down, walking round sale water park a big lake I sat feeling a complete failure, gun to my head and no reason not to pull the trigger, I really felt a failure, I’d lost my girls, now to some that might sound extreme, but this woman, my boo, my Deniece, and her daughter were my world, never again would I find what she gave me, how she made me feel, how beautiful she is.
Something came hit me that night that told me not to give up, to fight, to be strong, I just hoped she felt it too, I’ll explain at the end what hit me. I had to fight, so I threw the gun in the lake, wiped away my tears, walked home with a new air of determination, I had to believe, ya see Deniece had often tried getting me to believe The Secret when we were together but I would brush it off and laugh. Well I wasn’t laughing anymore. It was my route back to her, my path was shown, I began to believe. Each night I would take her photo, along with one of Charlotte and I would talk to them like I was on the phone or they were standing in front of me. I’d give them reasons why I should come home. I prayed to God (who I found through my hard time) for him to forgive me for my sins and boy did I have a lot of them(that’s another story) I asked him and The Secret to guide me, to help me and grant me strength to become the man these two inspirational ladies need.
After awhile I received an email from Deniece and here was my chance. I was shocked, I was nervous, I felt like a schoolboy who was meeting his idol, that’s what she is, if you knew her you would understand. P.S I love you was our film in which Jerry in the film sings ‘I’ll love you to the end’. I listened to and watched that DVD over and over singing for her to come back, and now I had this email. I met her the same day, costa coffee. When I saw her…..wow!!! Every bit as beautiful as I pictured and remembered, I hugged her…oh how I’d missed her. We spoke and I cried, I got mad and I heard some things that felt like Mike Tyson punching me in the head and heart with bare knuckles. Still above all of that, more powerful was my love for this woman. Now I had been to her house the week before with a ring, huge bunch of flowers and the relevant music to sweep her off her feet, only she wasn’t there!!! I wanted to give up again but The Secret kept me going along with a little help from god. We walked to her car and all of a sudden she opened up, told me she could not live without me, she loved me, she couldn’t see a future without me, she wanted me back! I leaned over gently pulled her face towards me and kissed her…….I was home, she was home, we were back!!
I had gone from being squeeze away from blowing my head off to Deniece blowing my mind with a kiss. That was12 days ago, now I’m floating, even flying at times, my heart has been returned to my chest, my smile found and my soul complete. This woman really is an exceptional woman, her daughter is beautiful beyond words and now with The Secret’s help I will patch things up with Charlotte and with my new belief and happiness we will have an amazing future together. We have a love that can’t be denied that The Secret wouldn’t let die. I’m now have a wonderful career as a recruitment consultant and business development manager, earning more than I could ever dream. Finally the man I want and need to be to take care of my girls.
See when I had that gun to my head what hit me was, surreal, ya see Deniece HAD been putting her thumb to the moon, I felt it, we felt it, we both stayed connected through The Secret, our beliefs and our love. If this sounds like you, please don’t give up, keep believing and asking, trust me if you want it enough it will come and it will happen. Thank you Deniece for loving me, for coming back to me, for being you. Thank you for being my boo xxxxx