About a year and a half ago my boyfriend and I broke up, completely out of the blue for me. I was shocked and devastated. Having been in an on/off long distance relationship for over a year, I thought at that point things were going well but apparently he didn’t feel the same. After we broke up I did the usual, drunk calling, crying, texting, begging, you know, the usual, losing your dignity stuff. I had always known about the law of attraction and actually managed to apply it to several smaller aspects of my life successfully but when I tried to apply it to getting my ex back I was unsuccessful. Having read possibly every article on the internet about ‘How to get your ex back’ I tried to apply each technique using both mind games and the law of attraction.

The one thing I struggled with was letting go, both in an emotional aspect and in practice. I would try my hardest not to text or reach out to my ex but I always seemed to give in when I was drunk, or if I hadn’t spoken to him in a few weeks. Pathetic! From a law of attraction point of view, I struggled to let go. I tried to focus on doing things for myself and to remind myself that I am first. I attract the energy I put out to the Universe, but the only thing I was putting out was desperation and neediness. I would cry myself to sleep about his lack of communication and felt like he didn’t care at all.
I really needed to up my game so I started trying a lot of different things, including meditation, self affirmations, exercise and keeping myself occupied and my mind busy. I started to feel better about myself, and alas he reached out. I thought this was amazing, and finally it was all happening. But of course, I wasn’t ready. I went straight back to the neediness and the feeling of ‘lack’ when I went back to starting all conversations and making all the effort.

This process continued for around a year, the same thing happening every month or so, with us meeting up when he was home and falling out, making up, and falling out again. I knew in my heart that I was only hurting myself by continuing to out myself through this and out myself in this situation.

I told myself I’d had enough. I reminded myself who I was and what I deserved! This was the turning point for me. I stopped listening to sad music, looking at old photos and crying over why I wasn’t good enough, I was and I am good enough! I was letting go, while a part of me knew that we were meant to be, another part knew that I could also be happy without him.

The last time my ex boyfriend came back for a weekend I was on a night out with friends when I saw him. We ended up talking and spending the night together. Oh no I thought, all my hard work down the drain. We enjoyed each others company as we always had, we have the same energy and undeniable chemistry.

I didn’t let myself get annoyed that we had spent the night together, I just got on with it. The day before he left we spent time together and both agreed that we couldn’t continue to go through life the way we were and that a decision needed to be made about our relationship. We decided to have a think about it and discuss it at a later date.

That day I thought long and hard, I knew I loved him and wanted to be with him, but was it right? Could we make it work without me becoming that desperate, needy girl again? I immediately realized that I was expressing feelings and thoughts of just that once again, so I stopped myself and said out loud ‘I deserve the best, I deserve someone that chooses me, I deserve all the love in the world’.

That evening I text him a long message, about all the reasons I feel that we could make it work but that I would never want to pressure him into choosing something unless he was sure about it. I wanted him to be happy but I also wanted someone that wanted me, I deserved that.

The next evening when he got home from work, he replied to my message ‘I’m all in’.

I am now in an amazing relationship, filled with love, growth, positivity, happiness and communication. I am so grateful for how far we have come, even though it took so long. I realized that learning to love myself has gotten me to where I am so I can not stress enough how important this step is. Realize what you deserve and put your happiness first.