My childhood was normal in a normal loving family environment, yet I felt alone, different, not good enough, separated, tormented, and dominated. I believed no one liked me, I was annoying. I cried alone just wanting to feel loved and wanted.

I began to live in negativity and fear. Everything bad that happened they did to me. Every feeling of jealousy, guilt, greed, judgment, and unworthiness was put onto me by others. So fight, flight, and flee became my life and I punished myself because I did not feel worthy of love. The love I found was lust, submissive, and harmful. My 3 children were my deepest love but it was not easy going when I did not love myself.

At 60 years old I broke and searched for help on the internet writing on a search engine the words, “Who Am I?” I found teachers and I listened, read, watched, practiced, and practiced more. Then I kept looking and searching again and again. After seven years I started resonating with some words I was hearing. I realized I had heard these words before but now I got it, I understood it. Those moments were bliss.

A few weeks ago after another low, negative point in my life, I wrote in my diary, “If I can make myself this way with negative thoughts then why can’t I make myself better?”

Then along came The Magic. Don’t you just love algorithms when they know what you need just at that moment? I have seen The Secret movie, own The Secret book, and The Greatest Secret is mine also but I had not heard of The Magic. So I listened to the audiobook on my Spotify account. Don’t you just love a good cry? This was my missing link! I discovered this after 11 days into the gratefulness practice and after 11 days of tears of joy.

I actually did not know gratitude as a feeling. I did not have gratitude in my subconscious memory. No wonder my learning and practicing were going around in circles. I knew to let go of fear and I had learned to love myself but it just was not working.

After 67 years of living in fear, and believing I was such a victim, I have been on a healing journey that started at 60 and I discovered my missing link! Gratitude is now mine thanks to Rhonda and her Secret Series. I resonated with her voice and her words, with her emotion and her joy in sharing The Magic while narrating the audiobook. I am only day 11 but I have already listened to it all and I get excited when each new day starts. I will keep this one on repeat for I know my lessons will be forever in my heart and I have Rhonda’s voice to guide me. Already wonderful moments of bliss are mine to savour ever so fleeting but they will be with me forever.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really love these words. Thank you!