Being a freethinker, I was turned off by The Secret being presented as a mystical secret. But I took the core message of my attitude being the key to the results in my life, both positive and negative. I don’t have a need to believe in any gods, but I do believe in energy that can’t yet be measured. And one’s attitude includes this energy. I noticed when I was fresh out of high school, I had positive results from my visualization practice. But growing up in a negative environment led to low self-esteem and low expectations. No matter how much I wanted better earnings, housing, and friends, I was surrounded by mostly vampiric nay-sayers and depressing folk, undesirable housing, and minimum wage. This pattern went on for almost 2 decades from about age 11.

During this time, I did notice that things went well for short periods when I was focused on the positive results I needed. But I just couldn’t sustain these feelings or results. I was practicing the Secret all along, but not knowing how to make big strides. Watching The Secret a few times made things click. I had denied myself the very things that would have helped me sustain the thought patterns leading to the results I wanted. I knew that music, dancing, movies, and pets put me in that place. But I lived in places where I couldn’t have pets. I refused to buy music or movies because of my low income. I wouldn’t dance because I felt too fat after developing PCOD. I felt I didn’t deserve these joys because I didn’t accomplish enough. I felt I should spend every minute figuring a way out of it. So it was like a horrible cycle. I didn’t realize I was blocking out the very things I needed to inspire ideas that would save myself.

I decided to get the mp3 player and fill it with my favorite bands. I got movies (free rentals at the library). I took my son to adventure movies (cried at every one of them). And, without forcing change or effort, it began. I noticed details that led to ideas and events that took me on another path.

After some horrifying events, I ended up without a permanent home. Staying with family and having lost a lot, I could have remained depressed. Instead, I kept searching online and everywhere for a way to rise above. I tried to be specific. I had less than a thousand a month to support my family. I knew I wanted to have a career at home so I could create my schedule around a disabled child (and a healthy one). I knew I needed my own home. Watching Indie films and listening to my favorite music, I got flashes. Instead of ignoring them, I wrote them down and just went with it. Within a month, I had ideas for at least 2 screenplays. I had never even considered writing for film (only books). So I began taking my “fun time” seriously, realizing my play affected my work. A book idea came to mind that turned out to be more urgent than the screenplays. I’m currently devoting my energy towards a book I feel is very important for people all over the world.

Meanwhile, the desperation over having no private home to work in was growing. I began visualizing having the house, the space I needed. I still struggled with believing I could get something without proper money or credit. But I drooled, anyways, over houses at real estate websites. Low-income housing lists in my area had been closed and very long. Then it happened. I stumbled upon someone’s personal website stating a list for housing vouchers would open and take applications online for about 5 days. I discovered this only 3 days before the deadline! They took in 30,000 applicants and only 8,000 of those would be placed on a waiting list. I began doing what Josh, another poster from Florida, did. I found myself believing that nothing was gonna stop me from getting a place to live. In fact, my state of mind had so changed that I started believing that things would happen too fast. It did.

I got a letter stating I would have to attend an orientation about the housing program to determine eligibility. I was one of the 8,000 chosen! A few weeks later I got another notice stating I was eligible and near the top of the list! Then about 2 weeks after that, I was told that it was time for the final meeting where I’d receive my housing voucher. It meant everything to me. And I guess to my son as well, because when I told him we’d have our own place again, he cried. He had a very negative mindset before this and constantly said, we’ll never get a home. I told him I was working on an experiment with the Secret, and I’d try to prove him wrong. I even started packing months ago, stating we had to be ready to go!

A landlord has approved us for a nice, affordable duplex. It’s a real downsize, but this is my first real try with the law of Attraction (and we can save money in a smaller place).

I’d advise any freethinking atheist or agnostic to ignore all the God talk and the way it’s presented (as an ages old secret), and treat it as an experiment. I’m starting to have real fun with it. It’s way more fun than contemplating suicide for the umpteenth time! :o) I will continue taking classes online while my son goes through yet another surgery, and work towards the higher income. With all the depressing talk about Michigan’s economy, I feel it’s just another puzzle to solve. We get through it no matter what.

Rest assured, I will update here as things happen. Thank you.