A few weeks ago I needed something to speak to me, to help me find hope and reason. I found The Secret. I was looking up books for self help and guidance and up came the link for that book. A friend had talked to me about The Secret a few years back and I was like, “yeah okay positive energy this & that whatever.” I had long forgot about The Secret. I was a very happy person all through high school and I had a close knit group of friends, played softball with the same girls from the time I was 10 up until I was 19, and I was very involved in school activities. I started dating my first love my senior year of high school. After graduation my close knit group of friends spread out all over the state to go to college including myself away from my boyfriend, and softball ended. I was upset that all of my friends had gone away and made new friends so fast & were so happy yet I couldn’t find that at my school. The distance between my boyfriend and I was a struggle at such a young age but he was always there for me. I moved home after the first year of school and things got better because I was back home with my boyfriend again. The new school I transferred to was alright but it wasn’t what I was looking for. I started to become a very angry and negative person. Things got stressful and took a toll on me, and it got really hard for me to see the bright side of anything. My relationships with my family, friends , and boyfriend all were rocky. It didn’t help that in a few months my family had decided that they were going to move 30 minutes away from our home that we had lived in for 17 years. I was upset at first but figured that I would get used to it and it wasn’t all that far. Well, I got accepted into a new school program that I really knew was what I wanted to do, things started to get better. But the new program was stressful and I had started it the same week that we were moving. I took out my frustrations on the people closest to me and it really affected my relationships. Things started to settle down but problems with my boyfriend grew. We had been together for nearly 4 years and I started to question his actions. He had lied about going out with other girls, he didn’t want to spend as much time with me, and I could feel the distance growing. A huge fight ended up having him ending our relationship a month before our 4 year anniversary. He said he needed time and space to experience other things. My world was destroyed. My high school sweet heart that promised to marry me, have kids with me, and never leave me had walked out of my life. He told me that eventually he wanted to talk again and he wanted to remain friends and that he sees his whole future with me. How can you do that to someone that you “love”? I was in the middle of my second semester of my program and my grades took a hard hit because of my attitude. I was depressed, angry, confused, and broken. I didn’t know which way was up. He contacted me 3 days later to tell me he was still feeling the same way but he wanted to make sure I was okay. I held myself together while we talked about things even though all I wanted to do was beg for him back. We agreed that we wouldn’t talk for awhile and we wished each other well. I went through some difficult times and thought I would never get better. That’s when I found The Secret. I started reading it at work one day and my friend immediately came to my mind. I thought, “Hm, I haven’t heard from her in awhile it would be nice to talk to her.” Sure enough, when I was halfway through the book she had liked one of my pictures on my social networking site and I felt the need to message her and tell her that it was a sign that she was to somehow reach out to me and she did. That sign was validating for me that The Secret was already working for me. Music is a huge part of my life and my ex and I had a lot of songs that we considered “ours” and brought up very strong emotions. I asked the Universe to not play any of those songs on my mix of 1,000 songs and every time I asked, they would not play. I read the Magic and I wrote down that my ex would contact me on our anniversary and would want me back and we would be happy and get back together. I put our pictures back up and thanked the Universe for him everyday. Our anniversary came and I kept telling myself that he was going to call, but he never did. I was so angry with the Universe and upset that The Magic didn’t work for me. But what I didn’t realize was that I didn’t truly believe that he was going to contact me. I didn’t have full faith that he would and that is why he didn’t. My negative unsure thoughts were sent out to him from the Universe.
A specific thing I remember coming across when I was reading through stories on thesecret.tv was “One Step At A Time” by Vicky. I was desperate to find success stories of getting your ex back and I came across her story of asking the Universe to show her someone in orange pants because it’s obscure and random. She had already forgotten about it when a week later she turned on the tv and bam, her favorite performer was in orange pants.
I though to myself, “What could I think of that is so obscure that the chances of me seeing it is impossible.” The first thing that came to my mind was a green flower with purple polka dots. I kept thinking, “no that’s too ridiculous and I’ll never see a green flower with purple dots.” But anytime I tried to think of other crazy random things, all that came to mind was that flower. I stopped thinking about it and just figured it’s not going to happen anyway. I’ve been staying positive but I’ve had some slip ups over the past few weeks because school has been really hard and there’s been a few times that I’ve missed my ex. Last weekend I had a breakdown on Saturday night and I almost gave in and contacted him. But I found the strength not to and the next morning I felt so good about myself for not giving in. After that day I knew anything was possible. I started to realize that I just wanted to have a good time and really focus all of my energy on myself. I genuinely knew that no matter what the future holds, the Universe is going to take care of me.
Today when I was home, my mom called me and asked if I wanted to go to the store with her. I was doing laundry and other things around the house and I didn’t really care to go but I figured why not? I browsed around just going up and down the aisles. I walked through the floral section and almost dropped to the floor. A giant green daisy covered in purple polka dots was right there. I was in a state of shock. Though it was a fake flower, that specific color combination was there in plain sight. Needless to say I bought the flower and it is now in my car to be a reminder to me every day that the Universe is there for me.