God does love me : )
My life is going great right now, but I wanna share my story of how completely opposite it was before the secret.
When I was 11, and first started out my life in Junior High, my whole outlook on life changed. I used to be a happy kid. All I wanted was to be popular, like most tweens. But my life wasn’t good at all. They say Middle School is the worst years, and I listened to that.
I had very abusive drinking, druggie parents, and none of my family got along whatsoever. I didn’t even have my own siblings there to help me. There would be a family fight every single day. I knew there were lots of mean girls in 6th grade, and I was always scared of them. I knew they would be mean to me, so they were. All year, I couldn’t even find myself. I’d change personalities every day to fit in, and all I thought about is how I couldn’t trust anyone. And I was right, my friends would ditch me, and everything I was scared of happened.
I was depressed, and very negative. I’d complain about it all the time, and it only got worse. Even my teachers hated me. All throughout middle school, I managed to hide it, but my life was just as bad. I really thought God hated me. All along in these years, I’d pray to God and I’d complain about everything bad in my life, and beg him to help me or something. I tried everything to making my life better, I’d even buy like crazy lamps and stuff and make wishes on them, but they never came true because I knew they wouldn’t, haha.
By the time I turned 14, everything was still going bad, and CPS had visited my house 3 or 4 times. My family was suing aunts and uncles, and other family members, and I had lost 2 family members. I’ve lost so many friends and family members, and I was never happy. It was my first year of High School, and I was upset with my looks, and basically upset because I wasn’t perfect enough and I was always mad because I deserved a better life. I luckily hid it, cause my friends would make fun of people like that. At this time, my family would still fight all the time, and everything was still bad.
Until one day (the third week of Freshman year) my family had a bigger fight than normal, and I was absolutely fed up with everything. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I sat in my room and cried for hours. I was extremely upset, because I’ve been begging God since I was 11 years old (2006) to help me out of this, and he never gave me any answers. After being so upset, all I had was my siblings. I snuck into my sister’s room, and we both talked without hating each other, we were both tired of fights. This was the first time I’ve told someone about how much I hated how my life was. Then I told her how it wasn’t fair. And she didn’t have much advice for me.
Since my parents got mad and taken my TV, and everything else out of my room, even my door… I didn’t have much to do. I hated reading, but needed a way to relax. I asked her to borrow a book, cause she had a bunch. She handed me one and it was The Secret, and she told me, “This tells you how to make any wish come true.” I thought, “Oh cool.” Then she told me, “But it doesn’t work, I don’t believe in it, and it’s a bunch of crap.” I thought it would just be a book about advice for depressed people or something, but I read it anyway.
I didn’t care that my sister didn’t believe it, it had every answer I needed! I couldn’t believe I never realised this! This is what I’ve been begging God for. The book came out the same year I started praying for an answer, too! I remember seeing the movie commercial, too, but ignored it cause I knew my parents would never take me to the movies. I forgot it after that.
I immediately bought the book from her, and decided I would change my life right then and there! I wanted my family to get along, and I wanted just a good life in general to start off. And I got that! The next day at school, I actually had a good day, and I made new friends and nobody fought all day. Then finally, my family wasn’t a loving family, but we all got along now and I imagined us spending time together, and getting along, and good parents. That same week we had hurricane IKE in Texas, and at the time I lived in Houston, and so our school was closed for a couple weeks, and our power would be out, and we wouldn’t really be able to go anywhere.
So I was stuck with my family for 9 days. I guess that was our time together. As I was positive we’d be fine throughout the storm, we were perfectly fine, even though neighbors weren’t. That whole week we actually all bonded and got along, and spent time together. That hasn’t happened in years.
Throughout the rest of the year, my life was good, and my whole family that was fighting all apologized, and got along. I had fun at school for the rest of the year. My grades changed from Fs, Cs,and D, to all Cs and above. I had no more enemies whatsoever.
My life was great. I had a list of thing I HAD to do over the summer. They were crazy things too. But I did every single one of them, and enjoyed it.
Now I am 16, at my Sophomore year, and couldn’t love my life any more. My whole family gets along, and me and my siblings are like best friends. I look completely different from a couple years ago, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m more than happy with my looks now, and I’ve got plenty of friends that I trust. Me and my parents get along and actually spend time together now. No more fights. And being popular? I don’t even care anymore, now that I know the true meaning of life. I’m pretty now, and have hundreds of friends, and a good family, and a better house (I live in Dallas now). And so much more, all thanks to The Secret. My middle school years don’t even matter anymore, cause I’ve over it, I’ve still got plenty of life to live. Oh, and all those mean girls, we’ve all made up, and are actually friends now. They’ve grown up and stopped being mean.
I might not have deserved that book for complaining, but I begged God, and he answered my prayers. He does love me after all. Now I help middle schoolers with their problems and I love sharing The Secret. Thank you to everyone who wrote the secret. 🙂