Focus On The Quality In A Person!
“Focus on the essence of what you want, and let the universe bring the perfect match to you!!”
I read The Secret stories a lot and I also read the forum about LOA.
One thing that comes up very often is that sometimes people get very focused on one specific person that they want to have a relationship with and feel very frustrated when it doesn’t work out.
I want to share my story in order to inspire others if they are in a situation of attracting a specific person back but it doesn’t seem to work out. The story is very long but bear with me!
About three years ago, I had a serious crush with a guy that I worked with. I liked him so much but was very scared to talk to him or flirt with him. Our friendship did not go anywhere and one day he left the company. I was devastated. I thought I lost the love of my life. I tried to chase after him but it just didn’t work out, he kindly rejected my affection.
At that time, I tried to use LOA to attract him back. I put up his picture and looked at it every day. I wrote love letters in my computer just to express my love for him. I’d force my connection with him and visualize being with him, eating lunch with him or watching a movie with him. I thought that as long as I keep visualizing then he’d like me back.
I started to see his name everywhere, or hear people talking about him. Every time I saw his name I thought that it was a sign from the universe, but he is still out of sight!
After more than 6 months of the forced visualization, I started to realize that I can attract his name easily, but I can’t actually attract him back. I started to know that there are many characteristic in him that I don’t like.
For example, I like someone who is easy to chat with and is very friendly, but he is not that easy to chat with, and he is too cool for school sometimes. I like someone who has lots time for me, but he is busy with his own stuff. I like someone who likes Asian girls like me, but he seems to only like white girls. I like someone who lives nearby but he says he want to move to another city. And he has a lot more characteristics that I don’t like.
I finally gave up on him. It was tough to give up because I had been doing all the visualization for 6 months, it became a habit to think about him. But I threw away his pictures anyway, and deleted all the vision boards that I created!
I decided to find other guy that is more suitable for me. Although I like his look a lot as I think he is really handsome.
I started to go out and have my own life. I met new people and made lots of new friends. I started to be more social and put myself out there, and I took different classes to learn new skills. I read lots of books on how to get the guy or how to be a dream girl. And I let myself cry if I wanted to, to release my loneliness and frustration or anger. When I was using LOA to attract him back I didn’t allow myself to cry because I thought I have to be happy all the time to attract him back.
While I made lots of new friends, I still felt loneliness almost every day, but I kept working on it. I knew that I wanted a boyfriend so I put myself out there and met lots of guys. I also asked my friends to introduce me to guys. The point is to not be ashamed about this!
I made a list of all the features that I like in a person, but I edited the list a lot when I met new guys just to find out what I really want. For example, I wrote down that I like engineer type of guys, but after I met so many engineers, I find out that they are either addicted to video games or they just like to stay home and surf the internet (it’s a boring life style to me). So I removed that from the list, and I started to look for guys in other occupations not engineers.
The point is to refine your list and meet those guys to refine even more! To keep the feature that you really want in a person, not the feature that you thought was nice to have! Initially I had 30 things on the list, and after meeting more than 20 new guys, I only have 5 things that are a must have!
After almost one year of building my life and meeting new people, I finally met a wonderful new guy and we liked each other on the first meeting. We started the relationship almost instantly, we have so much to talk about, and he has lots of characteristics that I like. He is also very good looking too! I just keep finding out more characteristics that I like in him!
I told myself that I will never, ever try to focus on a specific person or thing. Instead, focus on the quality and let the non-match go.
Thank you for reading the story and thank you Rhonda and The Secret team for letting me share my story!!!
I Love you all!!!!