Finding What I Deserve
When I first read and saw the movie “The Secret” it rang true to me, because I’ve always believed that if you desire something with all your heart it will come to you.
I grew up most of my life fighting the battle of the bulge. My parents, though well intentioned, spent most conversations with me explaining how I’d never get married or be happy if I did not lose weight. In high school I never had a boyfriend, and as I grew older the world of dating was not one I lived in.
By the time I was 37 I finally got sick of not being where I wanted to be in so far as the lack of romance in my life. I dusted off my computer and introduced myself to internet dating. For the first time I was meeting men and having dates on a somewhat regular basis. After a year of dating I still had not met someone I really clicked with. I was complaining to my best friend. His response to my complaining actually changed my life. He said, “You’re not dating the kind of men you pray for. I’m sure you’re praying for a ‘nice guy’, and so far you haven’t gone on a date with a horrible guy, but just not what you want. Why don’t you write down what you really want in a man, leave nothing to chance. If you want him to have brown eyes say so.” He told me that asking for anything less than what I want and deserve is letting God know I’m not ready.
That night I wrote a full page, three columns, no skipping lines, front and back, of qualities I want in my future husband. My list included him being a Taurus, one year older than me, fluent in Spanish, etc. etc. There were over 200 traits on my wish list. I put that list in my Bible and gave it to God.
A year later on my computer I saw a picture of the most handsome man. Before making that list I would have thought this man was out of my league. I requested to meet him. I didn’t get a response right away but I downloaded his picture. That Saturday I went out to brunch with some friends. I showed them his picture and stated that next Saturday I would be at that same restaurant having dinner with him. I was not lying – I was speaking it in true faith.
A week later there I was having dinner with this man. It was love at first sight. As time went on I came to find he had every single quality I asked for, including his birth date. One night I was telling him about the “list”, and he was intrigued. When I went to show him the list it was not there. I lived alone, that Bible had always been in my nightstand drawer and that list had never been removed. I couldn’t understand where it could have gone. All of a sudden he looked into my eyes and said, “I think it’s God’s way of telling you that you don’t need the list anymore, I’m here already.”
A year after having met we married. It has been the most wonderful four years of my life. The secret of believing that you are deserving and therefore asking in faith that you will receive, has over taken my life. Reading “The Secret” was an incredible affirmation to what I know in my heart to be true.