I met my kids’ dad a few weeks before I turned 22. I am now 28! Everything about him I admired. We had our first child when I turned 23! It was very soon into our relationship but we were in love! We moved in together and started our family. Everything seemed great. Of course, we had milestone arguments like everyone else but for the most part, we were happy.

When my son turned 3 I found out I was pregnant again with our 2nd son. I was nervous because I knew it wasn’t the right time to have any more kids. We were still struggling and trying to make sure our 1st child was financially good. When I told him I was pregnant he looked at me and said congratulations. But not in a good way. His voice was just sad. I felt his disappointment. I felt a little sad as well too but I felt worse when I saw his reaction. I didn’t expect him to feel joy but I didn’t expect him to make me feel weird about it either.

Well, a few months into my pregnancy I found out he was in a whole new relationship. One that he had kept away from me and our son. I was shocked when this young woman reached out to me stating that she too was pregnant and that they were together. I found out that in her eyes, I was the side chick. In her eyes, I was the problem. No words can describe that kind of heartbreak. After that, he told me that she was crazy and that the baby wasn’t his. He said all the lies that a narcissist will tell you to keep you at bay.

I didn’t believe it so I left. I was a single mom of 2 from then on until our 2nd son became 8 months old, and then I let him come back into our lives. It felt like he was a changed man and really understood the mistakes he had made. He assured me that the baby turned out not to be his. We were happy, loving, and thriving from then on.

Then one and a half years later, I found out that the baby was his, and it was his first daughter. I then put him out and now I’m on a healing journey to know my self-worth. Not only didn’t I get an apology from him, he was not sad about anything he had done to me. He told everyone including me that he was just happy that the secret was out. I knew then that I was in a relationship for 6 years blinded by my own selfishness. I realized it was my fault for not having a backbone. My fault for letting him come back a 2nd time. But it made it easier to move on this time knowing that he never really spared my heart or feelings. I can say with an open mind and heart that I would never allow abuse like that ever again. That’s my story and I’m happy to finally share it.