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Employed After 9 Months Of Depression!
Submitted by: Kaitlyn
Seattle, WA26 year old proud, strong Native American woman who is learning to love, empower and appreciate herself.
I had been unemployed for nearly 9 months and living off multiple family members, my younger sister, my mother, and my grandmother. It was the longest stretch of unemployment I’d ever experienced.
In November I quit my job and traded in my car for extra money to start a life with my now ex-boyfriend who had just been dishonorably discharged from the army and lived 3 hours away in another state. To make a long story short, it didn’t work out and not only did I end up alone with the worst broken heart and depression imaginable, but I was also now unemployed.
I tried for months to find a job. Sometimes even just looking for work would make me stressed out beyond belief. The rejection from numerous places I did land interviews at began to really take a toll on me as well. I felt hopeless when I tried and hopeless when I didn’t. I felt worthless.
Earlier this year in May, I was diagnosed with high-risk HPV. I was told by my OBGYN that most HPV clears on its own, and to avoid being stressed as much as possible because it will weaken my immune system and make fighting the HPV extremely difficult. Instead, my stress level skyrocketed. I then lost my best friend shortly afterward because it turned out he was never really interested in being my friend. He just wanted to pursue a sexual relationship with me instead. After I ended the friendship, I felt utterly alone and hopeless. My depression deepened. To top everything off, I then found out the ex-boyfriend I gave up everything for and was still so very much in love with, was in a serious relationship with someone else, and had been for a while. They actually began their relationship less than a month after we broke up, and he was committing to her in ways he never committed to me. It was a lot to take in all at once and difficult to think of much else with so much time on my hands from being unemployed.
I began to wonder what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I keep the man I loved? Why didn’t anyone find me worthy of working for them? Why was I undeserving of real friendship? Why was my young, strong body letting me down and succumbing to disease? If it weren’t for my sister’s company and support, I honestly don’t believe I would’ve made it through my despair. I contemplated suicide almost daily during those awful 9 months.
Now, I’ve been familiar with the law of attraction for several years but would only try to “use” it when I found it necessary. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. I wasn’t interested in making it a part of my daily life though because I thought it was impossible to control your thoughts every single day.
Then, about 3 weeks ago, after returning to my grandmother’s house from a weekend of engaging in some activities I’m not so proud of, I decided to make a change. When I got home that evening, it was at that moment I realized I was capable and deserving of so much more than what I had done and what I had let be done to me. I got comfortable and watched The Secret repeatedly, even falling asleep at night while listening to it, and really absorbing it. Once I really paid attention, I understood it much better. I decided to change my way of thinking and focus on the good instead of the bad. I truly began to believe and feel that work was on its way. Two days later, I decided to leave my grandmother’s house and return to my mother’s house to begin looking for work with a whole new attitude and perspective.
Three days after I returned to my mother’s and began to apply The Secret and practice gratitude, believing wholeheartedly that I was about to make an employment breakthrough, it was Friday. By the end of the day, I had 4 job interviews lined up for the coming week! My sister and I were blown away! I kept assuring myself that this was it.
On Tuesday of that coming week, exactly a week to the day after returning home, I had my first job interview that morning and it was for the job I desired the most. The office was small, warm, and inviting. I would never have to work weekends and I would be off at 5 every day. I would be getting paid more than I was at my previous job, I was guaranteed advancements to move up in the company and I wouldn’t have to deal with taking the bus. What really made me want this job, even more, were the ladies I would be working with. I felt instantly comfortable with them and we connected immediately. I knew in my heart this was where I belonged. The job, the people, the office, the location, the schedule, it was everything I’d been asking for. It was ideal.
Everything went great until they informed me I would have to take a drug test, right then and there in the office. I felt my heart drop. Remember that weekend I said I engaged in some not so good activities? Well, smoking pot was one of them. I decided to be upfront and honest and told the truth. They told me to take it anyway and that we would go from there. So I took the test, and we all waited for the results. I came up positive for THC and only THC.
Guess what? I left the office employed anyway! Keep in mind this was my first of 4 interviews I had that week, and it was also the job I wanted most, which fit me best, and they let me slide on my drug test because of my honesty! I offered to take another one in a few months, but they told me not to worry about it, and that what I did on my own time was my own business. I couldn’t believe it!
At this very moment, I’m writing this from my desk in my office at my new job, happy and grateful to be here. My 9-month nightmare is finally over! As for my health, I forgot to mention that I quit smoking cigarettes shortly after my HPV diagnosis. I’m scheduled to receive treatment for my HPV next month, but I am doing all I can to boost my immune system and be healthier. I truly believe my body’s inability to fight the disease was because of how negative and toxic my thoughts and feelings were. Now I’m actually very thankful for my struggle and the issues I was forced to face. I walked out of my nightmare stronger, wiser, more appreciative of what I already had, and as a non-smoker too!
I still struggle with controlling my thoughts and feelings from time to time, but I’m getting better and it has definitely been easier since I began working. I just started reading The Magic and am hoping it will help me get an even better grip on and deeper understanding of this wonderful gift!