My story begins as a young girl. I grew up on the Nez Perce Indian Reservation in Idaho. I remember always knowing and looking to the sky at night, singing to the stars and having a burning desire to know why I am here. I remember calling out to the universe and asking, “What is it that you would have me do?” For I have always known, deep inside, that I have a special purpose.

Life was filled with childhood games, playing in the forest, laughing and having fun with my sisters, brothers, and cousins. It also held a lot of painful times. Violence and hurt as a very young child. Growing up in chaos and not really knowing self control. It follows that although there are many good memories, my young adulthood was wrought with bad choices, abusive, self-destructive behavior, mixed with determination in always knowing… that there was something more out there for me. That I was chosen and that the door… the secret… someday… would be revealed.

It was not until my thirties that I began to reach out for help, and that the teacher or teachers, loving teachers, were revealed and brought into my life. I had worked my way into drug addiction… and was determined to heal.

I began taking energy healing classes, and I built a sweat lodge, where much of the trauma was lifted, and it was as though I had finally come to shore. I felt that I had been drifting at sea, blindly, for so many years, and that my new teachers had sent me line and helped to reel me back to earth.

Years went by, and I knew more, yet my learning and my suffering were not over. I found myself, although not shrouded in drug addiction, addicted to my work and still blind to making good decisions for my own happiness. I was hurt and found myself in a world of anger, suffering, and defeat.

It was then that a friend’s sister gifted me with the book “The Secret”. I remember tossing it aside and cursing that what good would it do, “Look, I have shelves and shelves of self-help books.” I had worked hard at healing, and here I was, in anger and pain!”

I went back to college determined to redeem myself, to prove those who had hurt me wrong! So I finished and graduated with another degree. Then, I decided to rest for a while. I packed my house and moved home… up river… about forty miles to my little tribally owned home sight lease where my sweat lodge was located, near my family, where my dear friend, the Clearwater River runs by. Where the rose bush planted by a great, great aunt still blooms, where the birds and trees that I have always known and loved reside.

I moved into my 33 foot camper trailer with my daughter, and I grew my garden and rested. It was then that I picked up the book… “The Secret.” I would sit in the morning sun and read it… and yes! It was talking to me! I began to read it, and re-read it, and highlight it, and write little pieces down and carry them in my pocket! I could return to it, and find peace of mind and inspiration and happiness. I knew it related to all of the things that I had learned, but it seemed to put it into such clear truth that I knew then, all my work had been for something, and that now, I was ready to see. I knew that I had come to shore, but now I was ready to learn to walk among the people, and to be happy. To let the grief go, the trauma of generations past. I had cried the tears of my past generations for long enough. It is now time to let the tears go, and it is time for my ancestors to rest. And it is through the gift of The Secret that I will see that happen.

My life is no longer filled with grief, fear, abuse, hate, and pain. I know now that if I apply The Secret, my life and the life of my children and the spirits of my grandparents can be filled with love, joy, and happiness. I know that I can help my sisters to heal, my brother, and through this, the world.

Thank you, from me, and my generations.

Aho!