I had been to many doctors, had been on many medications and still had difficulty on a daily basis to function properly. I recently have become very spiritual. I have been trying to figure things out my whole life. Why me? Do other people suffer like this? What am I doing wrong? Or, what did I do to deserve this? I started crocheting and purchasing books for communities and shelters in my surrounding towns. I always tried to please people and thought of everyone before myself. I’ve been thinking lately I must be here for a reason not just to be a wife and mother, maybe to give back or help people in some other way. I always put pressure on myself to be the best I can be at work, home etc. Volunteering would distract me for a while, but I still didn’t really feel I had a purpose. When I no longer knew what to do, I began to pray more and ask God to show me the way.

I had recently been drawn to spiritual and faith based shows. A couple of days ago I landed a show called “The Secret”. At first I thought it was dark, but then I realized after watching it, that it was inspirational. “The Secret” has changed my life when nothing else could. Yes prayer helps, Drs. and medicine, exercise and eating healthy help, but “The Secret” will continue to help me believe and will make life worth living.

I started my day like every other day, with a nervous stomach, but today I decided to do something different. Something I don’t ordinarily do, besides pray. I told myself it can’t hurt, what’s the worst that can happen that hasn’t happened to me already? So, I said three things that came to my mind, like a wish, a mantra, or whatever you want to call it. “Happy, Healthy, Wealthy”. These were the three affirmations that I felt stuck with me after I watched “The Secret”.

I didn’t realize it at the time but my brain was triggering these three simple words and my body was responding with a different feeling. A feeling of positivity, content and a will to get up and move. I had not felt like this in the longest time. I have had lack of energy, not up to daily routines and nothing to look forward to. So I liked the way it felt, and I continued saying “Happy. Healthy. Wealthy.”.

As my day went on I realized I was happier and not depressed. I was making a mess in the kitchen before I knew it and “cooking up a storm”. I continued with laundry and household chores and going about my day feeling very confident. I actually looked forward to going to work and seeing people. Still saying in my head “Happy. Healthy. Wealthy.”. I no longer needed to take the anxiety meds before I left the house and I didn’t have to do any breathing techniques.

I am telling you this because I started having panic attacks about two years ago. They would appear out of nowhere. I would shake, sweat, get tightness in my chest and sometimes vomit. The rest of the day I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Anything out of the ordinary would bring on anxiety and then I would shut down. I got to a point where I was on high doses of meds and I was becoming agoraphobic. On at least two occasions I wanted to be admitted. I just didn’t feel right. I barely made it to work and usually would cry when I had to go somewhere. I always questioned myself and my Drs. regarding my feelings, if they were normal, and every doctor gave me different opinions. They would say I had a disease, a chemical imbalance and I needed to stay on the meds, which I felt was not the only answer. I began to feel worthless and confused. I wanted to change but didn’t know how. People would say “think positive” and I would say to myself, what’s that? Or, how do I do that? This takes over me.

I decided to write this story as maybe it will help someone else out there. The reason I called my story “Believe and you will achieve”,  is because after watching “The Secret” it triggered those three positive words that helped me through the day. Happy. Healthy. Wealthy. I believe you will also achieve something by watching “The Secret” and find your three wishes, mantras or words to help you live a happier, healthier and wealthier life.

Dedicated to my family, my supporting husband Jim, smart and witty daughter, Alyssa Marie and kind hearted son, James. All my love, mom