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Beginning With Me.
Submitted by: Ruth G Jackson
Derby, UkI am a 22 year old girl, who moved near Derby around 7 months ago with my partner. I love being outside and taking long walks as I love being able to take in all the nature that surrounds me, it's the best way for me to connect with myself. I use to suffer with depression and anxiety for 3 years of my life. However, I am pleased to report I am healthier than ever before in my life. Thank you!
The Secret landed in my lap roughly 3 years ago after being being told that it helped a friend in their hour of need. I thought, “What have I got to lose?”
At that time in my life, I was really struggling with depressed feelings which then manifested themself as anxiety. I had no desire to socialise. I basically became a recluse other than going to work and even that proved difficult at times! I didn’t care what people thought of me, I didn’t care if people thought I was being rude because I didn’t want to interact at parties or other events and I stopped looking after myself.
Not long after that, everything started going wrong. My ex partner and I split up, my ex colleagues were making up rumours about me at work and I moved back in with my parents. It seemed like a never ending downward spiral with no intention of stopping.
I read The Secret over and over again. At the time I thought I understood it, but clearly I did not. The teachings were there engraved into the back of my mind, but I struggled so badly to manifest anything. I kept chipping away though. Each day I would try and find something to be grateful for and when I had a bad day, I would search for twice the amount. I can’t stress this enough, be persistent with your practice and all the good things you desire will come.
If you’re struggling with somewhere to start, start with yourself. I started by marching myself in front of a mirror and saying aloud all the things that I love about myself. Starting with things like my green eyes, my long eyelashes, my brown hair with all the gorgeous ginger strands through it and I built up from there. Now I will walk in front of a shop mirror and say “Damn girl, you look good!” Always finishing off with a thank you! This is key!
As I am writing this story, I am sitting on the sofa in my Pjs with my perfect man, giving thanks for all the good that has happened. I am in my own flat. I have food in the cupboards and clothes on my back. There is money in my bank account and all my bills are always paid on time. This month alone I have lost visible weight, I had extra money put in my bank account and I had a new game for my console manifest itself! Nothing is going to stop me now. I know exactly where I’m going. I can honestly say I have never felt this amazing in my life; no insecurities, no body image issues, no more bad months, no worries about bills, nothing can bother me when I feel this amazing. And as for the depression, what depression? What anxiety? That’s gone out the window.
My advice for anyone who is struggling to manifest and about to lose hope is to start with you. Devote a small chunk of time to praise your body and realise how amazing it truly is. Take 5 minutes to meditate to clear your mind, or my personal favourite; literally wash your troubles away in the shower. Imagine all the anxiety and any hardships from the day washing down the drain with the water and away from your happy self. You will love it, I promise. Thank you for letting me share my story. Thank you, thank you, thank you always.