For many years I struggled with anxiety. It started at school. I always wanted everyone to like me or love me. My parents adored me but I wanted everyone else to treat me the same way. I always got my own way as a kid, always had everything I wanted, I was spoiled. But as a child, as a teenager, and also a adult, I expected the same thing from everyone else as well. I wanted to be the center of attention. I had the need for everyone to be focused on me, the need to be loved and liked got me into trouble. I become selfish. I was always told it was a good thing to be selfish.

As I grew older I struggled with anxiety. I struggled with health and become a type 2 diabetic. After being mentally abused for years from an ex partner, I turned to food. I found so much comfort in food. I did not find comfort in having diabetes, however.

Now almost 12 years later, the diabetes is now pre diabetes. My blood sugar is at normal levels without taking any medication. I am eating so healthy and losing weight.

I have come to a realisation, that my whole life I chased after people and chased after their love for me, but the only thing that was missing was my love for myself. For so many years, I had the need to be loved by others. It was so important to me, and so was my need to as help others, I always wanted to help everyone, thinking I could fix them. That I could help change their lives. But I never, ever focused on me and my wants or needs. Maybe writing this story has made me realize I need to love me more than anyone else.