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What I have been looking for all my life
Submitted by: Larry G.
IllinoisA gay man, who was severely scalded at 6 years old and always felt that he had to fight for everything.
At 6-years-old I was scalded by hot water and I have always considered myself a tormented soul. By the grace of God, and the Universe, at 17 I met someone that saw in me what I could not see in myself.
My partner in life has been with me for 37-years and has always been steadfast as far as telling me that I was a better person than what I perceived myself. I have worked in a job for the last 8-years where I have had people do everything to me that is totally unacceptable in the workplace, where I even had to consult an attorney to resolve the issues. Lets just say that life turned me into someone that I was not proud of. All of these things combined put me in a frame of mind where nothing positive would ever happen.
For years when I was getting ready for work and was in the shower I would constantly and unconsciously talk out loud; not even being aware that I was doing it to myself. Praying and asking God to give me some peace and let me feel better.
I was never aware that I was saying anything until my partner would ask me about it. When he did ask me, I would tell him that I didn’t want to talk about it.
One day after work we went to Target for me to buy some jeans and he wanted to buy a movie. When we arrived home and finally got settled in I asked him what movie he purchased. His response was “It’s a Secret”. We sat down and he put the movie on. From the moment that he put the movie in I became interested. As I watched the movie and listened to it, I mean really listened to it, I realized that I had finally found what I had been searching for all my life. I had always been told that God can take all of the malice and bad feeling out of your heart within “A blink of an Eye” and that is exactly what happened to me.
The people at work that tormented me for the past eight years, I no longer felt any malice towards them. My partner’s mother despised me, and her anger towards me suddenly vanished. All of the discord that I had been carrying around for the past 37 years had finally vanished; “In the blink of an eye” everyone at work has noticed that I have changed – I smile, I now say good morning, I have hope.
I know now beyond a shadow of a doubt that infinite possibilities exist for me. I no longer put limits on myself nor do I feel trapped in my present employment. I cried so long in gratitude thanking my partner for having faith in me and introducing me to “The Secret of Life” I am now and will forever be a BELIEVER.