I’d like to share my experience and some tips here and I hope it helps someone. This is a long story but I’m adding details as it may help.

I had a well-paying job in software engineering that I used to enjoy once upon a time. I was living in the US for a long time. At some point, I outgrew software engineering and got interested in IT product management. I did a certification and shared my goal with my managers and with a whole bunch of co-workers. Within the company where I was working, there was no support, despite my trying hard for a long time and despite it being a very logical extension of what I was doing professionally. Then, I started doing pro bono product management work beyond my day job to get the skills so I could highlight the experience on my resume. I applied to jobs and the recruiters would say “You are doing all the right things, BUT….”. This was going on for several years believe it or not.

Simultaneously, around 2014 the most difficult period of my life had begun. I got divorced and met someone before my divorce was even finalized, and this guy literally got married to someone else on my birthday! I had begun to get bullied at work and I had become suicidal because of this. I met with an accident and my car got totaled but thankfully, no one got hurt. Not having a lot of friends in the first place, somehow, most of my friends who were local, left either the city, the state, or even the country! I am not exaggerating that all of these things happened within 6 months of each other, and the workplace bullying continued for 2 to 3 years. I was deeply traumatized and was in a deep funk, especially because of the bullying and the guy who was playing me.

Now, I should also add that I was in the US on an H1B visa with my green card process in the works. However, what I did not know at the time was just how long it was going to take. The time it takes also depends on your country of birth. So, I literally was not able to quit my job because of my visa restrictions.

I had always been a spiritual person but this was the time when all of my lifetime “self-improvement” learning and understanding needed to get stronger. I was really put to the test. I tried to figure out the problems but no matter what I was doing, I was stuck. I wanted to move out, I wanted a new career in a different company, and I was sharing this with every Tom, Dick and Harry I saw. No matter how much I tried to change things, things remained unchanged and I kept complaining about this to everyone who cared to listen.

Around 2015, I was introduced to a mindfulness practice. It was one that has been a really big deal for me and one that I continue to use even now. I had read The Secret before, but it hadn’t clicked previously. However, once I started doing mindfulness, I started becoming mindful of my stories, and my thoughts. I started “catching” the storylines, the way I talked to myself, and what I was discussing with others. I highly recommend the book “Letting Go” by David Hawkins and “The Sedona Method” by Hale Dwoskin. I had accidentally stumbled on mindfulness and immediately after that, I discovered these two books.

Now, you will notice this is where my life began to change. It was very slow at first and by the beginning of this year, it started to change again very suddenly. However, more than anything, there was no way to describe the emotional well-being that started resulting. For the first time, I began experiencing emotional freedom which is really the state of letting go, even though everything externally appeared the same. I also realized the key things that were instrumental in making the shifts I was trying to make.

In January I decided to take the big step of uprooting myself from the US and applied for permanent residency in Canada via the Express Entry program. Then the pandemic hit the whole world, so everything felt slow. In fact, everything seemed slower than usual and I was still in the same place. However, I had now become aware of my internal language and I stopped saying things like, I am stuck. I stopped saying I was burned out. I stopped telling people about my career goals, that I wanted to leave the city where I was residing, or about my Canadian PR application. I started wishing everyone and everything well, including the immigration officers who were processing my PR application, the city where I was living, the US, Canada, my co-workers, and my past and future managers. This is another practice I have been doing for a long time. Wishing people happiness, especially those people who cause you difficulties or situations that are less than optimum. I also recommend this even when you have great relationships with people.

Now I’m extremely happy to share that my Canadian permanent residency got approved! Within a month, I had received a product management job for a different organization in my target city in Canada! Everything went smoothly. I reached my target city in Canada safely, and smoothly. I am now a product manager! Yoohoo!

To summarize;

1. First, allow your emotions without labeling them as good or bad, but without getting lost in them! I promise this gets better and easier but don’t give up. Be curious about your emotions.

2. Monitor your thoughts, how you talk to yourself, and what you discuss with others. Are you trying to figure out your problems? Are you trying to justify your problems? That was something I was doing a lot. I was taking steps to change things, but somehow there was a martyrdom about myself that I was feeling. I kept saying to myself and others that I was stuck. How I was doing this or doing that but with no change despite my heroic attempts. I was trying to figure out if there were “lessons” I should be learning.

3. Stop telling people your problems. Stop telling people about your goals and desires unless you genuinely know they will support you! Now this was crucial for me. We often tell people our goals as we want some unconscious permission from them. These “practical” well-wishers usually discourage us. We tell people our problems because we want sympathy.

4. Disregard appearances! A combination of The Secret, my mindfulness, and Neville really helped me with this. That is, stop fighting/resisting what is unpleasant and what you don’t want. Just be calm and ignore it! Tell yourself that you have what you want. Release the resistance as much as possible. For example, I was still working with my previous employer but I used to say, “I don’t even work there anymore, so why am I thinking about them? I already am a product manager in a fantastic new organization.” Notice I didn’t fight my thoughts, but I simply allowed myself to think differently by reframing.

5. Don’t allow desperation to come in. I did not try to convince myself I was a product manager every minute. Every time the strong feeling/awareness of the lack of change came, I calmly stated, that I was now a PM in a different organization in an amazing new city. I also kept myself busy. If you are thinking about your goal every minute, then you are desperate and preventing things from changing.

6. Wishing someone or something happiness. For example, “I wished the immigration officers peace and happiness.”, “I wish my dog, Goofy, peace and happiness”, “I wish my Mom and Dad peace and happiness” Love and harmony are one of the most powerful ways to smooth out the unpleasant and keep the pleasant going!

I hope this helps. I wish you peace and happiness.