I was at the height of my artistic endeavors and was encircled by so many people of all different colors and beliefs and cultures. I did many, many things to build up the confidence in young artists and reinforce the creative energy in established artists’ work. My community was my breeding ground for happiness and positive energy. I knew that I was doing a bit too much but I felt it my moral duty to keep on going. What I needed, after reaching one of my artistic goals, was a rest period. I started to become tired and anxious and also started to turn down invitations to events and that led to my turning down invites from friends etc. Little did I know or realize then I was suffering from burnout and my energy level was diminishing. So I started to drift away from the things I would normally do and even stopped doing my art.

Eventually, this all led to fairly severe depression and my apathetic attitude. Then the fears set in and just buried me in the shadows. This went on for years until I developed agoraphobia. That was when I realized I was in trouble. I struggled every day to feel the things I felt before, to have that perspective of peace again, and to get outside and enjoy the oxygen. At my darkest time, I thought that this was the end of my life and just could not see the future as anything but blank and empty.

Fast forward to this spring and my re-emergence. I knew that I was still inside me. That my soul was there and active in its yearnings. I had to figure out just how to get back. Just how to reunite with friends and family. One thing I discovered is that I was stifled by fear. Fear that my friends would be angry at me for ghosting them for years. Fear that things had changed too much for me to ever feel the same.

I challenged that fear and harnessed it. Through the power of visualization, the knowledge in my heart, and the goodness of my soul, I wrote an honest and humble essay about what had happened to me and a deep apology to everyone I hurt through my actions of doing nothing. I posted it to my FaceBook wall, which I had not opened in years.

The response was the most overwhelmingly positive occurrence I have ever experienced. All my friends came forward to welcome me back, to assure me that our bonds of friendship were stronger than any fear or anxiety that I felt. And I just could not believe it. But I saw this, I made it happen. Through admitting in pure honesty that I needed the time to recoup my energy and replenish my thoughts. Everyone understood and it felt like I just arrived home again. This home, my new one. My perspective immediately cleared and I could feel all the beauty around me. I could feel all the love of my friends and family. I could be a part of things again.

Salvation? I don’t know. All I know is that once you reach that point in your life where you know why you are here, nothing can take that away. It is always part of your persona. Always buried deep inside your heart and soul and will, when all else seems to fail, re-emerge at the right time. It is a gift that I somehow earned in my life and cherish every day. I am more in tune with this now than ever before. Thank you for The Secret. Peace!