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Berlin Or Bust!
Submitted by: Fernando Mark P.
Los AngelesI grew up mostly in the States and spent summers with family in Mexico and Guatemala. I worked mainly in films with a passion for the performing arts and writing. I love meeting people and especially love developing close bonds and friendships.
One year ago today, I made a choice. The past year since that decision has forever changed me and everything about my life.
I had decided after so many years of wishful thinking and inaction, to move to Berlin, Germany. The one city I had always wanted to visit, for no reason other than my heart was always calling out to it. I did love the German language and the idea of being in Europe for at least a year or so. But I had no idea how I was going to do it.
I had lost my job, lost my apartment, and lost my way of life. I had to work a very demanding labor job just to get by. The expenses of living in Los Angeles, California were taking a toll on me. Even in the best of circumstances, the LA life was a daily grind and a complete struggle. But losing my salary and my home was a huge detriment to my goal of saving up for my two week Eurotrip. So I sadly put it off for yet another year.
This time I knew the situation was different. For some reason, I felt that the stakes had never been higher for me to travel to Berlin. It was almost as if this was my last chance. After dealing with so many failures over the years, I figured I had absolutely nothing to lose at this point. So I might as well go all-in on the one dream that I was always too chicken to pursue. Move to Berlin. Now it was not going to be a vacation, it was going to be a move.
I dusted off “The Secret” book and I re-read it. Lots of what did not make sense to me before finally made sense this time. It was not enough just to think about Berlin. I had to actively schedule in time on a daily basis to be meditating and imagining a whole life for myself there. When I was able to scruff up enough cash, I bought a one-way plane ticket for December, about 6 months ahead of time. That was it, that was all I had planned, nothing else. From that day on, I actively kept saying in my mind, out loud, and to everyone I knew, that I was going to Berlin.
A month later I saved up just enough to reserve some hostels and a cheap air BnB stay for about two weeks. A month after that, I got lucky with a random side gig that gave me enough money to cover travel costs for almost the first two months of travel. A month after that, I had found some groups and made reservations for tours, mini trips, events, etc.
Before I knew it, October had arrived and it was getting close for me to decide whether to go through with the plan or not, despite a number of other reasons and complications that were unresolved.
Then I went to visit my sick Grandfather who was about to go through surgery. ‘Coincidentally’, the room he had been moved to was in a children’s section since they ran out of space everywhere else. The theme of his room was, of all possible things, the city of Berlin! All the walls were painted as murals to reflect the city with its distinguishing TV tower and everything else.
At that point, there was no doubt whatsoever in my heart that I was going to Berlin, no matter what! I never had a sign so obvious to me before in my life! So I trusted my intuition and turned my brain off for once and just went for it.
I wasn’t even fully packed by the time I had to go to the airport. I was literally half prepared for a trip that I had semi-planned with a vision of a 3 month travel plan that didn’t lead to anything in particular.
I’m currently writing a book about my adventures since then! At the time of this writing, I have not only successfully moved to Berlin, Germany, I made a life for myself here too! I found a new career and I just got promoted. I got a visa and I got a place to stay. But the biggest miracle of all was falling in love. This was something that also seemed impossible to me for a long time. I’m still pinching myself that this has happened. But then again, I have never been this happy before in my life. So I guess it was no coincidence that the Universe sent me someone who added to my happiness. Someone that I also make very happy too!
There are always ongoing complications and things to figure out and not everything is perfect. I do miss my family in the States sometimes. But the life that I found for myself here in Berlin exceeded way beyond my expectations.
The truth for me was that I did not know until I just went for it. The desire was burning inside me and the idea also terrified me, but in a good way. To me, that was the Universe saying that this was what I should do.
To quote Martin Luther King, “Just take the first step in faith, you don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step!”
There were so many points in this past year that I had no idea what the next move was or even how to proceed. Especially when I was dealing with a new job, flat hunting, and the visa situation. Somehow I stayed determined, practicing my daily visualizations and meditations, and kept myself positive with gratitude in my heart. I was always just a person or day away from the next step in my journey. I really had no clue what I was doing half the time. But if you make the initial leap of faith, despite the risks, things really do have a way of working themselves out when you’re in harmony with the Universe!
It took me so many years to finally make the leap, but now I finally understand how the law really works. It’s about ‘feeling’, guys. Don’t just think a few times a day. Feel it. Visualize to the point that you almost forget that you don’t even have it yet because that’s how real it is in your mind. Actually feel what it’d be like to have it. Make it real in your heart, mind, and soul, and the Universe will make it real for you. I promise!
Fernando Paiz, happy Berliner!