Search Topics
He Was Everything I Had Listed.
Submitted by: Misty
Ireland17 year old girl forever dreaming.
Well I don’t usually post on here, but I’m a regular reader. This evening I was feeling particularly grateful to everyone who’d posted such helpful stories and it occurred to me that my story could possibly help someone so I thought I would give it a go.
Well back when I was 13 I fell in “love” with a boy in my class. I was obsessed with him for two and a half years even though he never expressed an interest in me. Then when I was 15 he got in a relationship with another girl and my whole world seemed to fall apart.
I knew of The Secret back then but had never actually used it properly. However in my hour of need I remembered how when searching for a partner The Secret recommended to list out all the qualities you wished in a perfect partner. So that’s what I did, I made a list.
But after listing out the physical qualities I wanted this boy to have I realized I’d basically made a list of qualities the original “love of my life” had. For example the boy I had been in love with was off mixed ethnicity so he was super tanned and he was one of the only boys at 15 who had facial hair and on my list I had said “very, very tanned and stubble”. So I picked things I would like in a boy that the original guy didn’t have. I wanted this new guy to live close to me, because I live in the deep countryside whereas most people at my school live in the town. I also said he had to be really smart and good at school, quite shy and a kind person. I suddenly felt okay about the original guy having a girlfriend, I had this super boyfriend to look forward to.
I put this list away and forgot completely about it. A couple of weeks later I was at my local church and saw a boy I knew of who didn’t go to my school. He lived locally and fit the physical description PERFECTLY. I couldn’t stop staring at him, but I knew in my head nothing would ever happen as he went to a different school and I’d never spoken to him before.
I forgot about this boy until the following September he was on my school bus. He had moved to our school because of circumstances. He became friends with all the boys I was friendly with. He got amazing grades. He was popular through sports, but no more popular than me because he was also really shy. He also had a heart of gold. I realized he was perfect, but this made me feel really nervous around him.
Nothing happened between us for 8 whole months because I was so in love with him I just couldn’t feel comfortable with him. So first we became friends and it took me a while not to get panicky around him, but then a relationship developed.
Our relationship made me realize we didn’t have the same sense of humor and there were small things I never listed which caused problems between us. We ended on great terms however.
I know this story was quite long but I just wanted to explain as much as possible to anyone who has tried making a list about their ideal partner. It will work, just have patience.
The first I would recommend is make a list as detailed as you want. Be as specific or as vague as you want, just try not to think of anyone specific when you make it.
Read the list as many times as it takes to make you feel happy. Believe that there is someone out there who has all those qualities. Know there is someone like that. Truly believe you will get into a relationship with this person, imagine what it will be like. You can spend as much time as you want doing this, but I’d say I spent at most two days before getting bored of it. Now it took about 6 months for the boy to properly come into my life and almost another six months for us to become romantic with each other, so maybe if I’d spent more time on the “believe” part it could have sped up the process.
Let go.
Now I know everyone says this, and it’s a very vague instruction. In my case I put my list in a really good hiding place and forgot completely about it. I would recommend that as a good way to “let go”, but then I’m not saying my methods are perfect. I do believe that you should not have the list or the imaginary partner on your mind 70 per cent of the time.
Have fun. Like don’t be afraid to go out and enjoy yourself. You are single, you don’t have to stay in. Part of letting go is just being happy with the way things are NOW. So be happy.
You will meet that guy or gal. It might take a week, a month, a year, but if you’ve made your list properly, it will be worth it. And when you meet that person you might not even realize it. But you WILL meet them. I can personally guarantee it!