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Everything Is Possible
Submitted by: Robin
OhioMy goal in life is to live in New York City right down the street from Times Square. There, I will raise my children with my husband. I will have a profession as a rock 'n' roll singer, Broadway star, and writer. :)
Dear Rhonda Byrne,
Since birth, my family and I assume, I have had MDD: Major Depressive Disorder. Just another fancy term for depression. Nothing was really a warning sign until seventh grade. I had really bad acne, and embarrassing as it was, I had to take pills for it. Finally my dermatologist found a solution. Maybe my scars from past acne would go away, too! I was hopeful, but nervous about the side effects: mood swings, suicidal thoughts, depression, and even really dry lips. I got all of them almost instantly. Half of them I didnât know I had.
So I started the medicine, and almost instantly the world around me changed from a new experience (I had just entered junior high) to a universe where being happy was hard. Everybody hated me. And soon enough, I hated myself. Why? I had no idea. But I did. I hated myself like I was a different person, an enemy. I stopped the medicine six months later, and still felt the same. I was diagnosed with depression a year later, and got this awful counselor whom made me feel angrier than I had been because of the crap that I have been through. This feeling lasted for two and a half years, which included hurting myself and trying to kill myself twice. I then gave myself a break by admitting my story to my counselor then to a mental hospital. In that hospital I got a lot of help and the medicine I needed. I havenât been in a mental hospital since then, over a year and a half ago.
Sure, I was still scared of what others would think of me, and I still hated myself. But as the new year of 2012 approached, thatâs when I started to use The Secret more. I had known about The Secret for years, but I didnât use it right because I wasnât grateful for anything. Now I know that I used it correctly, at last.
On Saturday, November 9, 2012, I went to my best friendâs birthday party. And she had told me to invite a guy, since there were not many coming. So I invited the boy I had a crush on. His name is Duncan, and I gave gratitude as I climbed the stairs of the urban building to the party, where he was waiting for me. We danced and talked all night. We had known each other for years, but lately we were what my school calls âtalking.â This is the stage between being friends and being a couple. It was like meeting a whole new person, an even more magnificent person that I had known before. At one point that night we slow danced, and though it was so awkward because we didnât know where we stood in our relationship, it was a dream come true. At the end of the night, he told me that he had to leave, and I kissed his cheek goodbye.
Duncan walked away smiling, and I was left with so many questions. Since I was eight, people rejected me. I wasnât cool enough or pretty enough, and so on. Some found me too forward. However, with everything up in the air at this point, I decided to dance the rest of the night away, and keep that positive attitude I had had that night.
And I strived to keep it, thanking the Universe about the night Duncan and I had. When my spirits we down, I kept in my mind an image of me holding hands with somebody in the hallways of my school the following Monday. Whether it be Duncan, or somebody to comfort me.
That Monday that I had been dreaming of, the boy of my dreams confessed his feelings for me, on November 12, 2012. It was a dream come true. At that moment, when we first hugged as a couple, I wished that you were there so I could say thank you. That is why Iâm writing you. Weâve been dating since, and everything has been perfect. Two and a half months of pure joy! Iâve been feeling more joy than I have since I was maybe ten years-old. His sister is my best friend. We have a garage band together with our friend Jacob, whom we call Chewie (from Star Wars). And I already have our wedding planned out.
I now know that everything is possible, thanks to you. And thatâs why I know that we will be together forever. Because I know how to give love. No wonder I hadnât received any love during my depression! I didnât give any love! But with Duncan, I know how to now. I donât exactly believe in God, however I know that thereâs something responding to me. What a deal it is, too! All I have to do is feel good? Sounds great! I have faith in my future as a rock ânâ roll singer, a Broadway star, and an author living in New York City with Duncan and our children. It may have seemed like a stretch before, but how I see it now, it is my future reality. I canât thank you enough for getting me to the place I am today.
-Thank You