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Changing negative to positive

Submitted by: Stephanie

Rochester, NY

Employed professional, wife, mother of two college students.

I’ve been a believer of the The Secret for a few years now and have only recently learned a little trick I use to turn my negative thoughts into positive thoughts:

I think about what would be nice for others. What would make them feel good.

Last month, on my way to work, I was in a great mood, feeling very grateful, very in-sync with the universe, and very aware of the fact that I was feeling better than I had in a while. I stopped at a red light and when it turned green, the guy next to me sped up at a dangerous rate to get ahead of me and cut in front of me to merge. I immediately felt enraged. Then I felt even more unhappy when I realized my happy state of mind was gone. I blamed the other driver and dwelled on that for a while until I realized that my state of mind was by my choice and manufacture, not his.

I started thinking about how to turn the scenario into something positive. I decided that wherever he had to be was more vital that where I had to be, and that I was grateful that by getting in front of me, he could arrive there sooner. I pretended he was en route to his pregnant wife who was in labor with their fist child. I dwelled on how exciting this day would be for them. I thought about being grateful that it didn’t make a difference when I got to work and that I was fortunate to have a car, have a job, arrive there safely, not be in a hurry, and even not to be an expectant mother that day myself!

Now, when I start thinking and feeling negative, I try to think of whatever or whoever I’m dwelling on and create a scenario in my mind that will snap me back into a positive perspective. Sometimes the scenarios I come up with are so ludicrous that I just start laughing, and that’s enough to get me happy again.

When a certain person at work who I find grating gets to me, I now give her a compliment. It turns our entire conversation into a pleasant one every time.

When a friend who constantly complains about other friends gets on a “jag”, I change the subject into either a compliment about her or about the person she’s complaining about.

I am focusing on what will make the other person, not me, feel better. And when I do that, it automatically takes me back into the positive state we are all seeking.

This has worked for me every time I’ve tried it!

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