You should have seen me, but I hid it well. Break ups suck. Why lie and I was in such a state when after one year and five months my boyfriend left.

I was used to seeing him almost everyday and ours was a passionate friendship. When he said he was breaking up with me, for me it was too sudden and I didn’t want to accept it, even though seemingly our relationship had hit the rocks.

I wanted to respect his decision but there was this feeling within me that just wouldn’t let him go. I had quit drinking so I didn’t have a way to dull my pain. Nights were the worst! The thousand calls I made to him were either rudely answered, if at all. It was the most incredible pain I had felt in the longest time. I began to search within me for what I really wanted, I knew the Universe was going to give me exactly that. I had to focus on that, or go nuts.

I decided to forgive him for all the pain I had to put up with, after all, he had forgiven me many times for things I had done. I decided I would show him I loved and missed him. The songs we had listened to together almost killed me when I heard them, but I decided I was a co-author in my life and I was going to change my life for the better.

So I stopped calling him and since I had forgiven him, all my thoughts about him were nice thoughts. I called and emailed other people to pray for me, so I could conduct myself properly. A week went by and I let go of him.

Then the impossible happened, he called me. Then two weeks later, he came back to me and we have been together since.

You cannot be divided about what you want. You have to be clear about what you want, start to feel good.

Oh, and let go so the Universe can respond to you.