The Secret And My Son.
I discovered The Secret in 2011. In my lifetime I would have to say 2011 was the toughest, emotionally challenging, yet life changing year to date!
My ex fiance decided she didn’t love me anymore 12 weeks into her pregnancy and left me to move a long way away. I felt utterly confused and as if the floor had been removed from under my feet! Here was I looking forward to bringing our child into the world with the woman I loved. Now I was being told to stand aside and let her leave.
She left in the February and told me I had to just accept it and that she would be in touch when the baby was born. I didn’t know what to do. I remember looking for clues through old conversations, texts, social media, anything to give me some understanding why she was putting me through all this heartache?
I trawled through pregnancy websites for answers, had counselling and read various books. My family, friends and work colleagues were fantastic and incredibly supportive. Her family were confused but were told to have no contact with me.
I was now in a dark place and everyone was telling me it was ‘just baby-blues’ and that she would see sense eventually. I gave her time and space. But during this time I tried to be constructive. I had heard a saying before “We fear what we don’t understand” and that was why I enrolled in a Counselling course.
Studying the course gave me an insight and an education. It distracted me while having to now go through the legal motions of solicitors and now learning my ex had met someone else. I was now fighting for my rights as a father with some people suggesting I may need to consider a DNA test.
By the time my son was born I had passed the Counselling course with distinctions. I felt proud of myself and better for gaining some understanding of what my ex may have been experiencing despite her not wanting to talk to me. I thought my son being born would naturally allow me the chance to see him and hold him. As did my family. Unfortunately it didn’t work out like that. I was texted a photo and was told I couldn’t see him yet. This went on for weeks, then months. All my savings including that which I was putting away for my son was going to solicitors for letters, court costs, DNA test, etc. trying to get my name on my little boy’s birth certificate to afford me rights and the dignity of being known as his father.
Eventually I was awarded by a judge “1 hour for 1 day a month”. I couldn’t believe what I was getting and was told not to fight it. It was humiliating. I accepted it (reluctantly) and met my son for what would be the first and the last time.
That 1 hour went by in a flash. The only time I was allowed to hold him was when I had to leave to go home. My ex didn’t want me there and I knew that it was never going to work. Common sense as well as the feedback from her solicitor told me that. She had a new life with a new boyfriend and I was her scapegoat that had to stay away.
So I made the hardest decision in my life come that January. A conscious decision to walk away and abandon the legal case I was fighting. As a father I wanted my son to be happy and loved. I knew she was a good mother and could see he was healthy and happy on that visit. But I knew I was making his mother unhappy and I didn’t want my son to suffer because of that animosity she held for me.
I eventually met a wonderful woman. She introduced me to The Secret. I remember reading it to the point I found it very hard to put down. In a nutshell it opened my eyes and enriched my soul!
The wonderful women who introduced me to The Secret is now my fiance! We have been together 3 years and planning our own family. We got engaged in New York and bought our home which we love! The Secret gave me a new understanding. Every morning when I wake up I grab my stones (wealth, love, mind, etc.) and I look out our bedroom window. I hold each stone and give thanks. I save the mind stone until last so I can take in the view I see. I give thanks for the clouds and sky, the hills, the trees, the nature I can see. I close my eyes to hear the sounds of the wind and birds, cars and life outside. I give thanks for my consciousness, then take in a deep breath. This is me giving thanks to the life I have and sets my bearing for the day. Filling my heart, mind and soul with love and energy!
As for my son, he is always in my thoughts every day when I practice this state of mindfulness. I always give thanks that I am his father, of that one day I was able to hold him and for the universe to bring together again someday. I even threw it out to the universe to try and soften my ex’s heart to let go of whatever negativity for whatever reason she holds towards me. I don’t hear anything from her and haven’t for years. I receive no photos or updates. I did hear she broke up from what became her fiance. I hope she finds peace and who knows, maybe come upon a copy of The Secret herself one day!
To you the reader of my story and Rhonda Byrne, I say thank you and I wish you all the love, luck and good health on your way!