I had two SECRET books – both were gifts from good friends. But I do not like reading books like this, and that is why I never thought to read it until last summer. I was feeling absolutely awful. I thought that I could never be happy again, that I could never be loved and trusted. My tries to ‘be happy’ were really unsuccessful. Also, all the marriages around me were really terrible.

I am a teacher, and when the holiday came, the time of rest and having fun, I was thinking that I did not deserve it. I was preparing to go back to my family, my hometown. I had eight hours in the bus to go home and I did not know how to use this time without thinking bad things about my life. I could not stop being negative about myself; I could not be happy, I could not find the guy I needed, I could not have a peaceful life and marriage. I am not a good teacher, but do not have enough money, and I thought I will never have.

I got on the bus. I tried to sleep. It did not work. I was almost ready to cry. I wanted to take a napkin from my bag, and then I saw The SECRET. And I started reading. I must confess this – I was really helpless. If not I would not read The SECRET.

It was written for me – all the sentence, words were for me, to bring me back to life. I read the book in the bus – I finished it! And I decided to do everything The SECRET told me. Suddenly I realized that we have got a proverb in Turkish that totally summarizes The SECRET: “When you say something 40 times it will come true.” (Whatever you say, something bad or good, you attract it to yourself.)

I am now engaged to a guy. I knew him for a year, but we had only seen each other in winter two times. And I never thought that I can be happy with him. In fact he had everything I needed, but I did not know it. I knew that he wanted to marry me, but I did not. He was respectful, quiet, peaceful, full of love, reliable… But I do not know why I did not choose him for me.

My family has a pastry shop. I was alone and it was not full of customers that day. The SECRET was always in my bag, and I was re-reading the important parts for me. I closed my eyes, and started thinking about the guy I want… He had dark brown hair, he was tall, and his skin was like snow, soft and white. He had a big and charming smile. We were sitting under a tree on a hill together. He was wearing a light-green T-shirt, and blue jeans. His shoes had green and white lines on the right sides of shoes. But I did not imagine his face totally – just I thought of the most important features: skin, hair, smile. I was very happy, peaceful, calm. Nothing bad to think – I love him. First time I was ready to live together with someone without being anxious and suspicious. Because I know that it is not important to be asked to marry many times – the important thing is to be with someone you are sure about, full of love for.

I cried – but because of happiness. It was true. I was feeling it in my soul, my heart. My tears were building my new, happy life. I was with him. I was happy again. I found the one I am looking for. But who was he? I did not know.

A few days later the guy I am engaged to now wanted to see me. He knew what he wanted. And I was praying: “Send me him – in a short time, in the clothes I dreamed.”

I got on the bus to go see him. I got off the bus, and I saw him. He was wearing exactly all I dreamed. The same light green T-shirt, the same jeans – not just any jeans, but the same model of jeans in my mind – and the same shoes. His light green ti-shirt was new. He had bought it from Samsun, a country in Turkey, to wear the day we’d meet. That day I thought that, if I can make a guy wear what I want, without giving any clues to him, I can make my life wear happiness clothes.

Now I am trying a new one. If it will come true, I will write it down here, too.

The key: PRAYERS and SECRET.