Dear Rhonda and people who believe in The Secret

I was in a very depressed negative phase when I took out your book from the library shelf. I live in Japan, after spending 14 years in the States, and came back to Japan 4 years ago. So I thought it would be a great practice to read in English, and also I wanted to read something inspiring. I was unemployed for a month and a half then, and having a really hard time getting a job. I had applied for more than 5 or 6 jobs and was rejected by all of them. I had lost my confidence and financial worry was overwhelming. I just didn’t know what I wanted to do anymore. Also, I was feeling very guilty staying at my mother’s house and eating up her food. In short, I was in a whirlpool of depression, worry, fear, guilt, doubt, and any other negativity you can think of.

As I read The Secret, I realized that I had been saying to myself: I don’t know what I want but I know what I don’t want – quite often. I started a journal that day beginning with writing out what I don’t want, and rephrasing them into what I want. Also I made sure to write out what I was grateful for every day. I remembered my friend from college once mentioned her doing that. Back then, I thought it was sort of corny, but now I really needed the change. It wasn’t easy. I had to come up with things that I was grateful for every day.

I told myself that I deserve a job. I tried really hard believing, and visualizing myself in the office where I had an interview. Yet, more rejections. I went back and forth between believing and doubting so many times.

Believing and receiving are still very hard steps for me. Harder I try, more doubtful I become. It feels that I am resisting something. So I decided to push back the believing and receiving steps completely, and concentrated on being grateful for what I have now. Gradually, finding grateful things has become easy. Also, the feeling of gratitude started to come out from within. It is a big step forward for me.

I am still at the first step, but good things are happening. My relationship with my mother is far better than before. I got some encouraging e-mails from friends I had not heard from for a while. My volunteer involvement in theatre activities (used to be my job in the U.S. that I really loved but unfortunately have no employment opportunity in my hometown) is becoming more intense and interesting.

Meanwhile, I was rejected for another job. Instead of losing my confidence and control, I picked up the phone and called a counselor and made an appointment. I had never gone to any type of counseling. I wanted to for a long time, but I never had the courage. I was lucky that I got a right counselor. Talking to her eased my mind so much more than I expected. She even introduced me to a career navigator. She is helping me to construct a better resume and navigating me to a right job to apply for. She really opened my eyes. Better yet, she is taking time every week to coach me through the job-hunting process. I had never thought I would have a great help this way. I feel very lucky. And now I can see myself working very very soon.

So this is what I want to share with people who are swaying back and forth between believing and doubting. I know it is frustrating. But do not force yourself to take on the step that is too big. You can start small. Good things start to happen to you. Be grateful for them. And you shall receive.

I just want to thank you Rhonda. And I expect to say this to you more in the future. I also want to thank people who shared their inspiring stories on the website. And I am so happy to share my own story here.