I read The Secret when it first came out. I remember watching Oprah and that weekend I had purchased the book and my best friend had purchased the video. I was captivated and eager to begin manifesting all my desires. Manifesting a new career, more money, and more tangible items appeared to come with ease. I was deliberate in my writing of what I wanted down to the specifics of the environment in which I would work and also how much money I would make. Manifesting the love of my life took more time. And I think there was a reason.

Before, I had not been clear about what I wanted in a relationship and found myself falling into relationships (a marriage) that was not a suitable fit. I was not clear about what I wanted in a relationship or clear about how I wanted to be treated. Between 2006-2007 I took an entire year off from any romantic entanglements. This time frame was essential for me to get clear about what I wanted.

I wrote down several pages of what I wanted in a man and how I wished to be treated. I could probably turn my desire request into a book. I asked that the person show his character through a series of tests, shall we say, where I would be able to observe his true character and level of integrity. I was very exact and specific across the board. For physical appearances I was less clear as the soul of the man was critical for my happiness in a relationship. Too often people are so focused on the physical appearance. I always knew, too, that in order to manifest that wonderful person one also has to be just as wonderful. My character and integrity needed to be on par with this man. I always had the integrity piece but not the self esteem piece.

Then in October 2007 I met this wonderful man at the Blue Man group of all places. My seat was right next to his and we just talked throughout the concert.

We are now discussing marriage after dating 2 1/2 years.

I tell people that sometimes the universe (God) will delay your request because maybe you need more time to prepare. The right person could show up, but if your own life or sense of self is shaky then the principles of attraction will be challenging to fulfill. I do believe only because I was crystal clear about what kind of relationship I wanted have I been able to achieve such happiness and joy.