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Not Manifested Yet But It’s Coming.
Submitted by: Wes J.
Birmingham, ALI'm 29, married, but separated, have been in multiple sales jobs for over 7 years. Never finished my degree, and have been nothing but negative to myself ever since.
I read a few of the stories here, and what I saw were people who were talking about the changes and things that have already manifested in their lives. So, I wanted to say something a little different. For all of my 20’s, I have been working in low totem pole sales jobs. I’ve had a few that did quite well and others that created incredible financial burdens for me. I didn’t finish college because I felt I was never going to pay attention well enough to finish, and I just wanted to start making money. So I began my career in sales. Since then, my longest job I held was for 26 months or just over 2 years. Other positions have only lasted anywhere from 3 months to a year. Needless to say, with an inconsistent income and holding multiple positions, I have not built much of a financial foundation.
With my constant change of jobs and finances going up and down, I had continuously blamed myself for not finishing school, for not being good enough and telling myself it’s too late. You know, all the bad things, just to kick myself while I’m down. That negative energy, in turn, poured onto my wife and brought her down with me. She has truly been the most amazing person I could have ever had. She always wanted so badly for me to be happy and to bring a positive attitude back into our lives. After a few years of this, she finally broke down trying to carry the weight of the emotional burden of our relationship and has separated from me.
When she left and told me that she doesn’t think she can go on, I lost more than I ever thought I had. Every emotional wall came crumbling down and I was finally able to see the world as the way I did when I was younger. That you can be anything and you can do anything. I saw that our marriage was a direct result of the negative thoughts that I had and my wife was broken from the burdens that I could have lifted off of her. I’m looking back on this and realizing that I manifested all of these things through the years. Of course I have had my successes and we did have great times in our relationship but I know that all the difficult times were met with a “Of course this would happen to me” attitude.
My light switch flipped. I can not be negative about the things I don’t have or the things I didn’t do to be where I want to be. I can’t continue to focus on anything that I would perceive as a negative towards a person who cared so much for me. I will not let a world of “can’t” stand in my way. I’ve always believed in this “Secret” even before I heard of the book. I remember when I was much younger I would see something I wanted to do or wanted to be and it would undoubtedly happen. I realized even then that I was creating a world in which I believed in. And moving forward, I realized that I even through my career, things have manifested in my life that I was thinking of.
I say all of that, to say this. No, I haven’t had a miraculous change or amount of wealth enter my life yet. I haven’t landed that dream job or bought my dream house nor am I driving my dream car. I have not yet proved to my wife that I’m going to be the man I’ve always wanted to be for her, but convinced myself I couldn’t. But I’m going to. And I know I will succeed, and I know all those things I dream of will manifest themselves because I’ve seen it happen. I am a sole witness to overcoming obstacles that had no hope, simply from my faith in how bad I wanted it. The key is, even when you want it bad enough, you can’t let anything stand in your way, or tell yourself it’s not possible.
I don’t know how long it will be until I can finally see the successes of my attitude change, or the wealth I dream of, or the house, or car, or anything. Honestly I’m not worried about all of that. What I do wish and believe in seeing is that in 2-5 years I look at the life I’ve created and think back to July 2, 2018 when I decided that I was going to change it.