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My Downfall and My Rise
Submitted by: Anastassia
CanadaStudent at university.
My story is just like any other story, full of inspiration and of course, negativity and blame.
Like many others, I did not have an easy childhood, parents divorced, my mother moved away when I was 18, leaving me to live on my own (truthfully way before I was ready). I lost contact with my father and decided to do some soul searching. I remember going from one dead-end job to another.
Finally, one day I decided to go back and finish my high school. It was not easy; at times I did want to give up and just not wake up anymore. But every day I pushed myself. I pushed myself because I had a dream. My dream was to go to university and become an archaeologist.
After two years of struggling with my depression and school, I finally finished my high school with top marks. I took my chances and applied to university. and much to my delighty, I was accepted!.
At the same time, I started speaking with my father aagain, and he asked me to move in with him. I was so happy – no longer in debt, no longer worrying about money. Now I could focus on my school.
At first everything was grand, everything was working out. I was no longer sad, I wanted to wake up every morning. But self doubt started creeping in. I started thinking, what if this is not going to last. I started thinking bad things about my father, being easily irritated every time he spoke to me. Sure enough, what you put out into the world, comes back at you.
When I got my acceptance letter, my father was displeased. He said I was too stupid to go to university and I should just get a full time job. That was a big blow to my self esteem. I tried to shake it off, but as I started my university course, at a time where it should have been joyous, it was horrible. I kept thinking about what my father had said and every day, sure enough, something bad happened to me. I started failing my classes, and stopped speaking to my father. I got kicked out of university for a year and my father kicked me out.
I moved in with my boyfriend and for the next two years worked at endless jobs once again, and my depression came back.
Than one day my mother spoke to me. She said I was not happy anymore and I should make a change. My relationship with my boyfriend was not working out; he was exactly like my father – always putting me down.
Finally i watched The Secret again, read the book and began to question myself. What was I doing? I had neglected the only person who mattered in this life, and that was me.
I had thrown away any dream just because one person said ‘no’. I am stronger than that. That day I woke up. I had no means of moving on, or any money to pay for any of it. But I decided right there and than that I was more important than living a life where I was not happy.
I mustered up all my courage and broke up with my boyfriend. I found myself an apartment next to the university and told myself I was going back. I enrolled in the next semester and bought all my books. I quit my job and decided that I would work at the university. I got laser eye surgery and somehow all this was paid for. My mother’s insurance came in and paid for my eye surgery, so now I have perfect vision. My family told me they would pay my rent while I am at school so I do not have to worry about anything. I’m now living on my own, in my new apartment. I am finally happy. I am finally doing something for myself and it’s all thanks to The Secret.
I’ve learned that you can read something and be inspired by it. But nothing will ever happen if you don’t take action and take your life in your own hands. Anything is possible. Anything. If you see it in your mind, there is no right or wrong. The only person that is holding yourself back is you. Once you let go of your fear of failing and just move forward, you will discover how great and wonderful life can be.
I am now attending university full time, and am also a proud employee of the school as well 🙂