I don’t know how to start this so I guess I’ll just start by saying that about 10 months ago I got out of a relationship with someone who I thought was the love of my life and that I would marry. I ended up being abandoned for someone else that he had been cheating on me with. It was a toxic and unhealthy relationship and resulted in me being heartbroken. I lost 15 pounds and was unhinged and had to go to a psychiatrist. I didn’t recognize myself and had to find myself again and become strong. It was the darkest time of my life.

Since seeing the psychiatrist I have become more confident and created boundaries in my life with people that I never had before. I learned so much about myself. I now know I deserve so much more than what I have settled for in the past. My sister told me about The Secret when we first broke up and I tried to attract him back. I blamed myself for everything that went wrong. Looking back, my ex was a walking red flag but I was desperate for someone to love me and I wanted him to be someone he just wasn’t. I thought I could fix him and make him into a better person.

For months I desperately was trying to attract him back. Meanwhile, he was dating this girl and doing everything with her that he never did for me and was flaunting the relationship. I finally got to the point where I was fed up. I would remind myself of everything he did to me that was wrong and told myself I did not, and do not, deserve that. I decided that instead, I would ask the Universe to bring me my soulmate. One who is perfect for me and I for him, and not force anything anymore.

Since I am such a control freak, it was very hard for me to not feel like I have to do something or be the one to pursue. I told myself that I deserve to have someone pursue me for once in my life. To be crazy about me and love me unconditionally. Since I was little I have always had this desire to love this unknown person that I’m meant to be with unconditionally and fully without fear of hurt. I have always given so much in my relationships and get nothing in return but betrayal and heartbreak. So that’s what I decided. I was sick of always trying and fighting so hard for people that never deserved me or my love and attention.

I got to work and wrote down a list with every detail, like eye color, height, religion, where he is from and how he treats me. If he’s humble or family-oriented. I went all out. This has been fun for me I will admit, I have always settled in the past for guys who have treated me like dirt. I refuse to be like all these other college girls around me and allow guys to walk all over me anymore or not make any effort. I know my soul mate is out there. While I am positive that I will meet him and we will be perfect for one another, it’s sometimes hard to stay positive but I know he’s coming. I made a vision board and put on it when I will meet him. If it doesn’t happen then, I know I just need to keep focusing on myself and do fun things to keep busy until I meet him.

I hope you get everything you deserve and more!