I am some one who has always kept swinging between joy and despair. I have let sadness and pain engulf me and I have let joy and gratitude show me the light from time to time. First time I read The Secret, I became obsessed with it, read all the books that followed and used the techniques to get myself out of darkness and attract the things I wanted. It did work but slowly it started to take over, the doubt and the fear, the thought that bad things are still happening. I took it to an extreme, I became so paranoid that I would get irritated if a friend started discussing his or her problems with me because I didn’t want any negative thought fearing that it only led to more negative thoughts. It became too intense and I stopped thinking about the law of attraction and just focused living a kind and joyful life and things started getting better.

But as I always I reached a neutral level of feelings but never got much further. After a while the darkness descended and an existential crisis took hold of me. I quit my job, started a poetry blog and traveled for almost four months to calm my mind, It’s the end of the fourth month and I woke up today with stress and an unhealthy body. Probably because everywhere I traveled I dragged my despair with me.
A couple weeks back, when I was sitting on a huge window of an ancient fort, built on a mountain in Udaipur, I was looking at the overwhelming orange and red sunset and I felt myself connect with the Universe. I even wrote something on my blog inspired by that feeling and the law of attraction. But that connection was brief because I didn’t pursue it, I let it pass me by.

I have been thinking about that day on and off for the last few days. Yesterday I read about the law of attraction again and I realized what I did wrong the last time. I focused on the desired result but not very much on the way I wanted it to make me feel. I didn’t focus on the joy I wanted, only the object of the joy. So either I didn’t get the object or if I did, it didn’t give me the desired joy.

Today I meditated for the first time. I felt Universe fill me with it’s positive light and I made a list of how I want my next job to make me feel. I think I can feel it manifesting, I feel joyful and calm as if it is has happened! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I just wanted to share this in case someone is making the same mistake I made in using the law of attraction. Here is the link to a poem I wrote to keep reminding myself to connect with the Universe in order to make my wishes come true. https://opinionatedhead.com/2016/10/15/when-you-need-a-magic-lamp/

Love,
N