Before reading The Secret my marriage was crumbling.
My husband has many health problems, and hasn’t been able to work in 12 years. We have 4 children, so this puts a major stress on finances. I have a wonderfully blessed job where I get to work from home for a large financial company, but the pay is never enough for a family of 6.
I had lost any love I felt for my husband. I had no respect for him. He is sick all the time and complains every day of his various aches and pains. I was not attracted to him anymore. He looked sick and had gained 30 pounds since we married. Because of him being constantly sick, he was depressed, angry, and frustrated all the time as well, which also made him start to have chronic chest pains. He was constantly paranoid of losing me to someone else (since I lost all my baby weight and now look as good as I did when I was 20). He was verbally abusive to us several times a week. I had to go on depression medicine – I just couldn’t deal with all of this on my own. But I was committed to staying married for the kid’s sakes, and because I don’t believe in divorce. My husband is a good father despite his health and mental problems.
After reading The Secret, I suddenly had hope. I began to purposely feel happy regardless of my problems. I wanted big changes in my life and wanted to attract good things! Immediately the atmosphere in the household was lighter, my relationship with my kids got better and closer, and I told my two older boys about the Secret. They also believed in the principles, as they just make sense.
In two weeks, I felt led to clean out my closet and go through a box of pictures on the top shelf I hadn’t looked at in years. I found a bunch of pictures of my husband before we were married, when he was not sick, and he was young and vibrant and handsome. I suddenly felt all the things I felt back then when I was 19, how attracted to him I was, what potential he had, what a dynamic caring person he was. How lucky I was to have him. My heart changed, just like that. Something clicked inside of me.
I put 5 of the best pictures on a small poster board and hung it by my desk so I could look at them during the day. Every time I look at the pictures my heart is filled with love. Because I REMEMBER why I loved him in the first place. Sickness is a darkness or veil over the wonderful person he is. All I could see was the sickness, depression, anger. Now, I see how wonderful he was/is and how good looking he was/is. Now I see with my heart.
My attitude changed towards him and I now love him more than ever. I NEVER EVER thought that would happen. He sensed the change in me and I told him about finding the pictures and how they reminded me how much I love him. He likes the idea (of course). Because I show love to him more, he is now much more happier as a person, and his attitude has changed. He is not depressed anymore, or angry. We want to be with each other as much as possible, like when we first met. I never thought that would happen. Prior to this, I wanted to stay away from him as much as possible. But no more!
He wants to get better too, and seeing the pictures of himself when he was healthy makes him want to get back to how he used to be.
I have hope for him getting better. I just visualize him he when was healthy and good looking, and feel the feelings I felt then and let them radiate out of me. Our relationship is getting better and better every day. I look forward to living the rest of my life with him. I have a new love in my heart and my marriage is healed. I thank God for leading me to The Secret.