Manifesting Is Real.
When I began my manifestation journey I was an unhappy housewife trapped in an 11 year loveless marriage with a narcissistic man. I was a stay at home mom with 2 young children. I had dropped out of college when I became pregnant with my first child. I was completely financially dependent on my husband, and he used his money to control me. I was in a chronic state of anxiety. I was on antidepressants for our entire marriage and I used food as a tool to comfort myself. My husband had not been intimate with me for years because he told me he was not attracted to me due to my severe weight gain. Although he used this excuse because it was before I had gained weight, only months into our marriage, that he quit touching me and the cruelty began.
I don’t remember where I first learned about the law of attraction but the first book I read about it was The Secret. I remember the night I looked out the window and asked the Universe to make me feel desirable again, to make me feel attractive and loved. It wasn’t long after that I started experiencing major health issues. It seemed my nerves and muscles had gone haywire. With a history of autoimmune disease in my family, I feared the worst. The doctors could not find anything wrong with me and decided it was ‘all in my head’. So I took matters into my own hands and began researching natural ways of managing autoimmune disease. I discovered a type of diet that many people use to manage their autoimmune symptoms. I experimented by eliminating all the foods that were problematic for people with autoimmune diseases. As my symptoms subsided, I knew that had to be the culprit. After being on a strict diet for 3 weeks, my symptoms began to ease. Months went by, and as my symptoms dissipated, so did my weight and my anxiety!
My husband was not supportive of my diet. He agreed with the doctors that all of my symptoms were in my head and probably caused by anxiety, but it didn’t matter to me what anyone thought; the proof was in the pudding! For whatever reason, I had developed severe health problems and major food sensitivities, yet with this diet, I felt like a new person, both physically and emotionally.
Although I had shed 60 pounds and now other men began to notice me, my husband still did not. Around this time I had a strong desire to become more active in a specific playgroup. During the very first outing we had with the playgroup, I noticed an attractive man who was there with his children. I stood near him and began a conversation. He revealed to me that he was deeply in tune with his intuition and that his radar was going off, telling him that we were supposed to meet. We quickly became close friends and I started opening up about my unhappy marriage. He cried with me, supported me, and persuaded me to further my education, as he was currently doing so that I would have a way out of my marriage. Our friendship gave me the confidence to start standing up for myself, to see my real value.
As I became emotionally stronger, my husband became more controlling and emotionally abusive. He was insanely jealous of our friendship. I eventually found the courage to ask for separation but my husband refused my wishes and nothing changed between us.
Months later, my husband had grown weary of my defiance. He was convinced I was having an affair and he filed for divorce. I was so relieved that he finally was letting me go but the path ahead was a rocky one. The divorce was a living nightmare as the bullying and abuse escalated, but things settled fairly quickly. We moved back to where we came from to co-parent our children.
I soon reconnected online with an old coworker and we began a long distance relationship. He made me feel so loved and appreciated. He was emotionally responsive and affectionate, something I hadn’t experienced in years. But between my relationship and our custody arrangement, it was impossible to find employment. I was driving 7 hours back and forth every other week. As my money from the divorce dwindled, I realized I would have to end my relationship in order to find a job to pay the rent.
It was at that time that my ex revealed he was marrying a woman who lived an hour away, in the town my parents live in. He told me he was moving to this town and I could move there too or we could go back to court. I considered court again, but then my parents persuaded me to move into their house for free. Because of this, I have been able to live on child support and continue my relationship. Also, I’ve become closer to my parents and my old friend from high school, who is also going through a hard life transition.
I don’t know if my current relationship is a forever one, we live 7 hours apart and neither of us are willing to move since we both have school age children, but whenever I’ve considered ending it, I start experiencing signs and synchronicities and I know that I need to keep going. I do not yet know what the Universe has in store!
I’ve kept in contact with my playgroup friend. I see him as my life coach and my mentor. He encouraged me to finish my education because he knew that it was what I wanted and needed. I recently received multiple signs from the Universe about the career I’m supposed to pursue, something I hadn’t considered before, but it suddenly made sense to me. I applied for college and switched my major. The school I chose accepted most of my old college credits and it is looking like I’ll be able to have my education paid for with a pell grant since I’m an unemployed single mother. I’ve received nothing but green lights that tell me that this is the right path!
I finally feel happy and free! I’m loving life again and I’ve been experiencing the most amazing signs and synchronicities on a weekly basis. I know that I’m close to manifesting my dream life! I had a vision that I was on a sailboat, lost and drifting aimlessly out at sea. Then I said, enough! I’ve got places to go! And I grabbed my compass and I grabbed the wheel and the wind began to push the sails. I have full faith in the wind getting me to my destination. All I have to do is keep hold of the wheel and believe that one day I’ll see land on the horizon!