Love Yourself First And The Rest Will Follow.
I always come here to The Secret site to read all of your stories for inspiration. I would like to add my little thing today.
I am someone who had a pattern of always attracting guys who never valued me, always compared me to other girls, and took me for granted when I was in a relationship with them. They only realized what they had lost when I was gone. But none of my relationships started off this way. Initially, they really knew my worth and admired me for who I was, even with my flaws. The truth is I was the same girl before and after I met them, the only thing missing was my love and respect for myself,
You see, when you don’t prioritize yourself, take care of yourself, or start giving yourself the last priority, people around you begin to sense it, and no one respects a person who doesn’t respect themselves. After years of falling into the same relationship habits, I finally found this guy. We both were totally opposite in personalities but our souls and minds were totally in sync. We were very serious about each other, and again, initially, he looked at me in awe. He loved my flaws and loved me for who I really was. But old habits crept in and I started adjusting to all his ways, made him my priority, was way too giving, and eventually in this entire process I started to lose myself. I started doing all the work in my relationship, to the point where my partner started to take me for granted because he knew I would always be there to make things okay. Then slowly he started not being there for me and since I had made him my everything, I started acting desperate for his attention, as if my entire happiness revolved around him.
This is the thing with desperation. Desperation always drives things, and people away. One day we had this huge fight where he told me he did not want to marry me at all. I was too tired of pretending to overlook the way he saw me and trying to convince him what he really had. So I decided to finally let it go. I stopped contacting him, and it took me a while to understand what I had really done! I came to my senses! I had completely overlooked my health in this process. I was unhealthy, overweight, and always feeling low. I literally had a single pair of pants left that would fit me. I had this frustration inside me that, still at 31, I didn’t have someone who found me worthy enough to love me or marry me. I felt lonely and had no friend circle left. I couldn’t recognize who I really had become.
So I promised myself that for the next month I would only focus on myself. I started exercising, and focused on reading something positive every day, even if they were just 4 lines. I focused on doing my pending work at my workplace. I did whatever I could to make me a person who didn’t need a guy to be happy. I felt I needed the right kind of people in my life, and I attracted a loyal, supportive, genuine friend I could talk to and spend some good time with. I started feeling less and less unhappy and frustrated with myself because I felt I was doing something for myself.
Then one day my boyfriend called me at 11.00 am on a holiday and said he wanted to talk. He said how sorry he was, and regretted how he treated me, and how he can never find someone like me ever again in his life. He sent me roses and promised me that he would now make the effort I truly deserved. He had tears in his eyes, telling me how miserable he had felt after I stopped talking to him and since then our relationship has changed completely. He now realizes what he has and feels lucky to have me.
All of this really taught me the biggest lesson. I will never put myself in the back seat again. Always love and support yourself because when you do, the rest of the things follow!!!