Being single can be rough. Last year, I tried online dating for the first time, and it was quite humorous and awful. I went on 20 to 30 dates, and most of them were pretty bad. Each time, I’d leave more discouraged and sometimes in tears, but I had made up my mind that I would never settle again, and I didn’t.

After complaining one day to my friend Megan about the date I’d been on the night before, I decided to make a list of everything I wanted, right down to the insignificant details that weren’t really necessary. My list was long, and it almost made me even more discouraged because finding someone with all these qualities and personality traits would be virtually impossible. Chances were that such a man would already be married, even if he did exist.

I continued going on dates and finally decided to give up online dating. If I was going to meet this superman, I had envisioned it would likely not be on a dating site, and I was burnt out. On the last week of my membership, I got the usual morning messages, but one stood out to me. It was his screenname with the word “soccer” in it that made me open the message. I looked at his profile and saw that he was a high school soccer coach, something I liked very much since being into soccer, and the enjoyment of helping others was a few of the things on my list. He was also 6’3 and very good looking in the exact way I had detailed.

We chatted for a day and made plans to meet, which I almost canceled. He was too attractive (lol). I knew from experience that any guy that looks like he could be a model is usually pretty shallow. You see, for the last ten years, I had dated people based on their personality and not their looks. This isn’t bad, but I know how rare it is to find a good looking person that is equally as attractive on the inside. Thankfully, I decided to go through with the plans because of an intuitive feeling telling me that I should go.

The day for our date came and I instantly spotted him across the restaurant. He stood up to greet me, and when I saw his 6’3 stature, adorable smile, and gorgeous eyes, my heart melted a little, and I had to keep myself in check. I was determined not to get excited until I knew more about him, but it was hard not to notice that he had everything I had written about on my list, right down to his style of clothes. There were even things I liked that I had not even thought to include on the list.

After sitting down, the first thing he told me was that he wanted to hear more about the volunteer work I had been a part of for several years, and thus ended my ability to refrain from getting excited. It was clear right away that he was the genuine and kind sort of guy I had been looking for. We proceeded to see a movie, and halfway through the film, he reached over to hold my hand, yet another thing I had detailed on my list. I like guys that go for what they want rather than moving slowly.

After the best first and second date ever, dinner, movie, clay pigeon shooting, Cheba Hut, and a Broncos game, he told me that he had no intention of seeing anyone else. Once again, there was none of the delay that I hate in progressing forward.

Now, here we are today, and my life has completely changed. I am still amazed that I met such a wonderful person on such a horrible website, and every day that I am with him, I notice something new about him that I love. He is the kind of guy that women read cheesy romance books about because their love life is less than satisfying. Ladies, it is possible to find a guy who cares about you, compliments you, takes you on dates, tells you that you are beautiful, and brags about you to friends. However, you must also be prepared to be as wonderful to them as they are to you. It goes both ways, but treating someone well comes naturally when you are blissfully happy.

Get clear about what you want and then wait for that person. Sure, I met many very nice guys that I could have dated, but it would not have come close to comparing to what I have now. I am with someone who is so amazing that I can hardly believe he exists. I feel that in order for a relationship to be epic, both people should feel exceedingly lucky to have the other person. Their personality should complement yours, and you should be better as a couple than you are individually because you both are positive influences on each other.

I see too many people getting married simply because they have dated for a long time and have finally decided that they could live together for the rest of their lives. Wrong. If you took that long to figure out if you could live with them, then you can live without them, and you subconsciously know that you could find happiness elsewhere if you needed to. You should only get married because you have come to realize that you could not live without this person. A breakup would be beyond crushing because you would never find someone as amazing as this person is to you. If you do not feel that way about the person you are with, then you are with the wrong person. Finding that perfect match makes life so wonderful that you cannot possibly imagine it because you have never experienced it. Do not settle. Divorces would be non-existent if people would just hold out for what they truly wanted.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!