Life had been a struggle for me. Work was demanding, I had no energy, and despite lots of medication I was severely depressed and suicidal. I was working on a research project for a few years, and I had been blown off by some of the subjects I needed information from, and was even told I could not attend a regatta dinner because I was “not a wife and was not crew” – although I could have happily paid for my own meal. That hurt, as all my life I wanted to be crew on one of these ships, and I felt like a door slammed in my face.

The following summer I had surgery, and two weeks later got a bone infection that almost finished me off – I was treated with antibiotics for three months via a PICC line, and felt like life was spiraling down and out of my control. Things just felt hopeless and stagnant, but because I could still see my vision of this book and I could feel it in my hands, I knew I had to carry on. It took two friends to help pull me back so that I could continue.

I got on the computer one night this summer, and I don’t remember how it happened but I stumbled across The Secret website. Everything there just made sense to me, and I went out the next day to purchase the book and the Gratitude Book.

I was on vacation that week and went to visit my sister, who said I just needed to relax. And I did. I found my Secret Shifters as I read – an intense blue sky I remembered as a child appeared behind the black walnut trees near my sister’s pool. I was happy on that day I saw the sky as a child – summers were endless and fun.

I used other Shifters to help lift my mood – remembering an afternoon I went sailing and how it felt great, winning multiple races in a regatta, what it was like to hold my sons when they were babies, winning in a horse show with a horse that was difficult to train, getting notification that my work was going to be published.

I returned to interview some subjects and have one review his chapter. It was a more positive experience – I felt confident, smiled a lot, and was very grateful that I could be around this element again. I even had friends who have read my work tag team one of the subjects who blew me off, and I got part of the interview I needed. The gentleman who reviewed his chapter made the corrections I needed, and smiled and said to me, “This is great!”

So, I am using my Gratitude Book daily. I believe I am crew, and I am thankful for the good interviews so far. I see myself sailing competitively on one of these yachts, and I see and feel the vision of my book in my hands and what it feels like.

I have the Optimist’s Creed pinned up by my desk. I learned a teacher at my school uses the Secret book with his class – and I never knew that before.

I wake up and thank the Universe for all that I have. My world is looking a lot better to me as I try to envision what I have asked for, believing that I have received, and as I feel what it is like to receive, knowing it is on its way. I am not there yet, but as a perpetual student of the Law of Attraction, I am thankfully learning something new every day.