I’ve always kept it a Secret – My Story
I learned a long time ago not to talk about what I knew – people thought I was crazy. So, its amazing to write it all down now for the world to read. Thank you for getting the Secret out. I know it will help others know they are not crazy, its real, and to believe in themselves better than I had.
My story starts when I was 12 in Florida (I am 38 now). A friend introduced me to a Youth Group. It was wonderful, a way for us kids to get together; we played and learned about God (something I knew nothing about). One evening, one of the Leaders, Dale, told Tracy and myself we were ready to let Jesus into our hearts, Come with me! We followed him to his office, sat down, closed our eyes and he said a prayer. All I know is that I felt intensely energized. That night as I lay in bed, I felt a tingly sensation all over – it was wild.
The next day I had a new sense of reality. I started to know things before they happened. I soon realized that before I went to bed at night I would need to bring back that sensation in order to stay-in-touch. I was meditating on feeling happy. This was something I needed badly – I was a shy, sad girl and maybe I relied on this too much? I felt special.
I quickly learned to keep this to myself. It became my Secret, my special reality. I got really good at it in high school and into College. I had a vocabulary made of feelings/vibrations; I could feel what was going to happen next, the best route to walk, who was going to call on the phone… Talk about awesome. I loved it and I always said Thank you! I walked through life with this incredible knowledge; I wondered if anyone else knew.
I came up with a theory which I used a couple of times – if I could Know things, then I can change things by Knowing. I tried this with a date I was supposed to go on once. The day came and I really didnt want to go. So I concentrated on feeling that it wasnt going to happen. My date called and canceled that evening (I met up with him 20 years later and asked what had happened that night. He said, Its impossible, there is no way I would ever have canceled a date with you, I had an enormous crush!).
My Knowing was about to fall apart though – I met a brilliant guy in College, fell in love, and decided it was time to tell him all about me. Big mistake! He told me it was all in my head, I was making it up to compensate for my insecurities. Suddenly I started to doubt everything I knew. It was awful – I ended up with an ulcer, I was in despair. I decided to believe in him instead of me. I thought, ok, I need to learn to live without all this nonsense, be like him. He was so smart, maybe he was right. But I always wondered in the back of my head: it had to be real – how could I have possibly known all those things before they happened?
Circumstances led me to marry this guy, a whole other story, and he had a fabulous way of making me feel even more insecure. Im a very happy, positive person – everyone will tell you. But here I was, at one point very depressed – I worked for the family business sometimes 12-17 hours a day, 7 days a week. I was a bird in a cage. I wanted a family more than anything in the world. A happy stable one. Finally after 6 years, my husband was ready to have children. Everything felt wrong to me.
So, I decided to try something…the Knowing trick. In the spring of 2003 as I went to sleep, for about 4 nights, I meditated on exactly what I wanted for my life. I could see my husband coming home from work – a happy guy, swinging me around, dancing in the kitchen. I saw myself as a stay-at-home mom, beautiful children looking up at us so happy. I would kind of chuckle after these sessions. I knew without a doubt this would happen. But how? It had never ever crossed my mind to leave. I was now 34. Was my husband going to change? Would the family business become one where I wasnt needed? This was going to be interesting!
Well by Fall, events turned into what I call a miracle. It was as if God handed down to me a new life, laid out on a silver platter and said, Here you go Karie, its yours if you want it. So, I made the scariest, biggest decision of my life, sat my husband down and told him I hated my life; I wanted to leave.
A man had come into our lives that past summer; I fell in love with his happiness and his giving ways. Turns out, he fell for me too and was ready to buy a home and have children. He was single at 38! I made a leap of faith and left everything behind to suddenly start a new life. It was incredibly scary but I had to do it for me.
The following year my new husband came home from work one day, swung me around the kitchen dancing, then picked up our daughter who was gazing up at us smiling. This was it – exactly what I had imagined!!! I sat down and cried – so happy! Thank goodness I finally believed in me and changed my world. I am the happiest mommy and wife on the planet!
Last year my mom called and said she was reading this wonderful book called The Secret. I said Mom, I already know the Secret – you can have whatever you want in this life – you just have to Know it already exists!
I have since read the book, and WOW, how wonderful to read other stories. Im not alone; I never was! Thank you for getting the “Secret” out!