Infertile Or Just Inconsistant?
This is so amazingly true that it absolutely blew MY mind!
The Secret was not my first introduction to the Law Of Attraction, I had actually been introduced to a book called the Celestine Prophecy several years back. However at the time, I was not spiritually ready for what I was receiving.
IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS “THE SECRET”
Fast forwarding at least 5 years, I hear about The Secret from a friend who was watching Oprah. I still payed it no mind, until one day something just dropped in my spirit to go and get the book. I didn’t have the money at the time, so I went to my local library where of course there were none available. I had to put it on hold, and waited nearly a month for a copy. But watch how the universe worked… I was on the phone talking with my cousin, a 33 year old female that for the sake of saying so, still makes poor life choices that lead to her ultimately being hurt. I was telling her about this book, The Secret, that I had on hold at the library, and that it would reveal so much to her and help her see that she was truly a Queen, able to bring about positive change in her life.
This is the type of conversations I have with most people, as I have long since been on this journey of refinement and self-adjustment. As we were talking, I got another call that beeped in – it was the LIBRARY! They said my book was in and ready to be picked up. Can you imagine the shock in my cousin’s voice when I told her that? That just as we were talking about the book, the phone would ring with a message that my book was in. Coincidence? But wait, there’s more. I immediately got off of the phone, excited to go and get my book. I picked it up, and decided I’d stop by the YMCA for my daily work out. The book sat on the seat beside me as I parked. Suddenly I had an urge to take it inside with me. I went inside, weighed in, and then grabbed a treadmill. I put the book on the top of the treadmill dashboard and began to adjust my settings, as I looked up from the control panel toward one of the overhead TV screens… Wouldn’t you know a commercial advertising the movie The Secret was on!!
I mean man, this is absolutely too good to be true, a wave of electricity rushed through me, and I knew that this was the beginning of change. All this, from the phone call to the TV advertisement that came on JUST as I was coming into the YMCA, was just confirmation that I was moving in an upward fashion.
HOW I PUT “THE SECRET” TO THE TEST
I took the book home and my husband and I took turns reading it to each other. When we were done, I was like, wow, it’s done? I was so moved. I went out and bought the MOVIE!! I wanted to have visuals at my fingertips whenever I wanted it. I like to use it to lift myself up when I start to get a little weak or doubtful. Hubby and I watched one particular night, and I sat there consumed, almost unaffected by everything else in my environment, including my husband. I was especially drawn into the part where the emphasis was placed on acting in the NOW… feeling the gratitude as if you already have it. And man, am I ever grateful that I did.
See, by this time, we had been trying for a baby unsuccessfully for quite some time. I have children, but not my husband, so it was easy for me to blame him for it not happening. I thought he was infertile. I did get pregnant earlier and miscarried, so after the loss my not getting pregnant naturally seemed like his fault. Now at this point, I was HALFWAY believing in The Secret. I mean, it sounded good and practical and it made a lot of sense, but there was something I wasn’t doing, because I should have been pregnant by now. After doing all sorts of infertility stuff, charting and changing diet and lifestyle, still NADA. I was about to give up, even ready to leave my husband. I know that sounds extreme, but when you believe that you are infertile, or your partner might be, it is VERY frustrating on couples that are trying to conceive, very.
I thought about The Secret. I remembered that I needed to be like an actress, even if I was not pregnant, start acting like I was.
One morning upon waking, I said, “Baby, let’s go shopping”. My husband said, “For what?” I said, “Baby clothes.” I was surprised to see that he was with me on it, that he actually got dressed, started the car, and humored ME for a change. We went to the Baby Depot, and claimed our crib, stroller, and all we will need for the baby. Now remember, I am nowhere NEAR pregnant at this time. This is like in June of 2007. But every so often when we shopped, I’d go to the infants section and browse.
In August my period was late, and we thought it was it, but sorry to say, I had a bad cold that suppressed my menses. I smiled and told him not to worry, that it would happen in October.
Where on earth did I get October from? The UNIVERSE of course! I did some research on my lunar cycle which charts women’s fertility according to celestial beings…the stars and moon and so forth. The Universe told me that I would conceive in October. As I prepared my body, I went out and bought a baby bottle and a little boy doll baby. Yes, I’m 34 years young and I still play with dolls!! I got this doll, that we prayed over every night, and sometimes I’d hold it like a baby, and act like I was feeding it with the bottle (I also have a sick sense of humor sometimes), so hubby played along with me and it was fun.
I got my period early in October, around the third or so. Since I had been charting, immediately after I went off, we started “baby dancing”. I waited about 10 days or so and took the test, it was NEGATIVE. Would you know that I did not get discouraged? What The Secret had taught me was that even if what I had asked for didn’t happen RIGHT THEN, don’t give up, thank the Universe because IT knows timing better than me, actually there is NO time with the Universe. I like to say I-niverse, because I am one with the Universe, so I-niverse. Anyway, I will admit I was a little disappointed, but not devastated as I would be every other month that I tested negative.
I had some running around to do a few days later and stopped by the pharmacy to fill my son’s script for asthma meds. As I stood in line, I happen to look to my left and saw a book called “What to expect when expecting”. I just happened to glimpse at it, but as I did the same rush of electricity that I described earlier came over me again. Then I saw like 20 pregnant ladies throughout the course of the morning. A nagging, gut feeling said, go buy a test. My practical self said, “You already tested negative Dummy”! But I couldn’t ignore it, so I went to the Dollar Tree, and purchased one for a dollar. I figured, what the hay, it’s only a dollar.
I went home, went to the bathroom, and did the whole pee in a cup routine. This time I walked away while the test worked, because I didn’t want to be disappointed again. I came back about five minutes after and wouldn’t you know I saw TWO PINK LINES!!! I was so excited I called my 18 year old son in the room to look at it, in case I had been straining too hard, and seeing double. He saw them too, and I begin to cry. Oh, those tears of Joy and fulfillment, I still sometimes taste them on my face today. I called hubby at work and told him WE DID IT BABE! THE SECRET WORKS!!!
Yes, I know The Secret helped me conceive my baby. I thought I could until I saw The Secret, then… I KNEW I COULD. I am now three months pregnant, and feeling fine. We saw the heartbeat last week. I thank ALL the teachers on The Secret, it was Rhonda’s vision and the collective one mindedness of all the people that participated that makes it so powerful. And it is powerful. Now if I could only get it to work on my son’s bedroom!!
You all are an amazingly inspiring group of people, and I too hope to one day let my light and life be a shining example to others as we journey through these perilous times. And if little ol’ me, a young black living witness, can come from being a runaway, single teen mom with limited education, and a lack of knowledge and respect for myself, nature, and others, can implement The Secret and rise to become the selfless, I-niverse loving Queen that I am who has a wonderful new husband, three kids that I adore, and expecting a new baby… You can change too. I wrote a poem once, and one of the lines goes like this: Every seed was a thought, once a thought. Then a spark, every seed that has grown grows in a place that is dark… And what I mean by that is, think about it. Everything that we have and are, started with a thought, thoughts are created in the mind. In the deep depths, that is dark to everyone but you. It is “dark” because others are ignorant to your thoughts until you have made them manifest. So one that is in “the dark” is without knowledge. I am so glad to now be amongst those walking in LIGHT.
Thank You Rhonda for putting together a masterpiece of knowledge that is able to change lives, as you have been truly instrumental in changing mine. Well done.